Moon Dance 1-6

by Shirley



It was a little after 1:00 when Brian Kinney walked into the restaurant. He didn't normally meet clients on Saturdays, but Marvin Tate was the head of one of his biggest accounts. He was leaving later that evening and wanted to meet with Brian one last time to look over the new campaign layout for his children's active wear clothing line. Mr. Tate insisted on meeting at Café on the Border, it was one of his favorite Mexican food places.



Brian had the waitress seat him as he waited for his client to arrive. He wasn't a big fan of this particular restaurant, it was very family oriented and on a Saturday that was pretty much all you saw. Brian was having a drink and looking over the commercial boards when he heard a voice behind him. 



"Daddy can we order some nachos while we wait for Momma." A young girl's voice asked.



It was the voice that replied that caused tingles to run up Brian's spine."



"The waitress will bring them. Do you know what you would like..." The voice was cut off by the ringing of a cell phone. "Hold on sweetie, it's your mom." Brian heard the sound of a cell phone being flipped open.



"Hi you" The voice said into the phone. "Oh, yeah we're already seated.... we're toward the back. I told the hostess we were expecting you. See you in a bit."



Brian heard the cell phone being snapped shut. "Sweetie, Momma's parking the car, she'll be right in."



A few moments later Brian saw a beautiful Black woman walk toward his table. She passed by Brian heading to table behind him. "Hi sweetie." she said. Brian wasn't sure who she was referring to at first, the man or the little girl. "Mommy got held up in traffic."



"Hey Daph, don't worry we haven't been waiting long, right Marnie."



"Right Daddy."



"Good... Boy am I starving."



"Me too" The voice replied. "Everything sounds so good I could eat this whole menu." He said with a chuckle.



"Daddy the menu wouldn't taste good." His daughter said looking very serious.



"You are so right sweetie, so maybe I'll order the Burrito instead." 



Brian wanted to turn around and place a face with the voice. He could not figure out why he was so intrigued. He tried to focus on the work in front of him. But the laughter coming from the table behind him was getting the better of him. He took out his cell phone and glance at the time display, Mr. Tate should be arriving soon. As Brian looked up again Mr. Tate was walking toward his table. Brian stood up from his seat to greet him.



"Good to see you again." Brian said as he extended his hand



"Brian, my boy. You weren't waiting long were you?"



"No not at all."



Brian shook hands with Mr. Tate, and took his now standing position as an opportunity to glance at the table behind him. He was only able to get a profile view of the person. Most of it was of blond hair as it fell across the person's face while he looked over his menu. He did notice the little girl; she was no more than 5 or 6 and was already a beauty like her mother. She had the most unusual color of hair Brian has ever seen. Her olive skin simply glowed. Brian never paid to much attention to kids except of course, his 7 year old son Gus. 



The little girl lifted her head and caught Brian looking over at their table. She smiled and waved to him. Her father caught the movement from the corner of his eye and turned to see what she was looking at. The owner of the voice looked up at Brian and smiled. Brian was taken aback by a pair of dazzling blue eyes. He couldn't help himself, but to smile back before refocusing on his client.



Brian sat back down along with Mr. Tate as he tried to concentrate on his business but every now and then he would find himself listening to the conversation of the table behind him. He found himself smirking at some of the remarks from the little girl. It reminded him of some of the comical things Gus would say. She seemed to be just as inquisitive as his son. 



Mr. Tate leaned back in his chair. "I love this restaurant." He said as he looked around "Not only is the food great, but it's a great place to bring your family for a good meal, good atmosphere and a good price to boot."



Brian laughed. "You sound like an ad man."



"Well, don't you agree?"



"Yeah I agree. The food is good."



"Well maybe when you have a family you can appreciate the family value of it." Mr. Tate eyed Brian as he finished off his drink "So, when are you going to settled down and start a family. Don't let being a homosexual stop you from the dream of raising a family. I say more power to you all for fighting for your rights."



"Well thank you Mr. Tate. It's good to know we homosexuals have you on our side." Brian said sarcastically, but it was missed by Mr. Tate who was smiling broadly at Brian.



"When I see young families it just makes my heart swell. Mrs. Tate and I couldn't have kids. We had all the money in the world, but we couldn't have children. Mrs. Tate wasn't for adoption. She said it wasn't fair to take one and leave all the others. So we decided to donate our time and money to children's charities." Mr. Tate eyes misted over as he spoke of his wife. "Bless her soul, she was a wonderful woman." Mr. Tate looked past Brian to the table behind him. He watched as the young father was leaned over speaking to his daughter. "Look at that." Mr. Tate said gesturing in the direction of the voice. 



Brian turned to look toward the table. He focused his attention on the father. He intended to glance and turn away but he found himself looking a bit longer. The owner of the voice glanced up and again caught Brian looking in his direction. Again he smiled, his blue eyes twinkling. 



Brian cleared his throat and turned away. He felt really simple all of sudden. 



Brian heard the person's wife ask him who Brian was.



"I don't know he just keeps looking over here."



Mr. Tate studied Brian's chagrined expression. "See I knew it, you have that look of longing in your eyes. I definitely see a look of longing in your eyes. You need a family."



"Mr. Tate I would rather not discuss my personal business. So...." Brian began to gather up his files. "... if everything meets to your specification, I would like to get back to the office and get the ball rolling on this campaign." This conversation was so over as far as Brian was concerned. Marvin Tate was his client not his friend. He only knew about Brian's sexual orientation through office gossip.



"Well I can see when I'm getting the brush off." He answered with a chuckle, not in the least bit offended by Brian's words. "The campaign looks great to me, and I really should be going, I have a flight to catch. I want clear up any lagging business so I can be clear to enjoy the coming holidays. My brother and his family are expecting me to stay with them for the holidays." 



The waitress picked up the check and quickly came back for Brian to sign the credit card receipt. He and Mr. Tate stood to leave the restaurant. Outside Brian tightened his coat around him. It was a typical freezing cold day in December for Pittsburgh.



"Have a safe flight. Mr. Tate."



"Marvin, Brian call me Marvin."



Marvin walked toward his waiting car. Brian walked in the other direction toward the parking lot. He opened the door to his Mustang GTi. It wasn't very practical for him to be driving such a car through the snow, but Brian hadn't had time to take the jeep to the shop for an oil change and tune-up. 



He climbed into the car, started the engine and turned the heat up. As he placed his files in the passenger seat he looked out his windshield and saw the family from the restaurant heading toward a dark blue Jetta parked not far from his. They made a picture perfect family. It was like one of those pictures that come with a new picture frame Brian mused to himself. 



The father stopped in front of the car, he bent down and picked up his daughter giving her a hug and kiss. The mother took the little girl from the father and buckled her into the backseat of the car. She came back over and hugged her husband giving him a fairly chaste kiss on the lips. They broke apart; a few words were spoken as they laughed with each other. The wife leaned over to kiss her husband one last time before getting into the car. The husband waited until they drove from the lot before walking over to a Red Durango parked a few cars over. Brian watched him as he walked; he was wearing a navy blue parka that stopped at his waist. Brian watched as his slim hips twitched from side to side.



He smirked to himself. "Married or not, if I ever see that little twink at Babylon, or better yet the Baths, he would be begging me for more." He said out loud. 



Brian waited for the truck to pull out and drive off; he noticed the bumper sticker on the truck, 'Have you kissed your Artist Today' and chuckled.



Once the truck was out of sight, Brian leaned over and switched on the radio before driving his car from the parking space and out of the lot. He made a mental note to stop off somewhere to relieve this bulge in his pants before heading to the office. Brian drove down the street and turned onto the highway, he merged into the traffic and put his signal onto go into the far left lane. The radio began to play an old favorite of Brian's. One of his guilty pleasures was listening to soft classics on the radio. He only listened in his car, when no one was around, he didn't want to ruin his reputation as the party hard stud of the local gay community. Brian turned the wheel slightly to head into the other lane; he was not paying full attention as he also reached down to turn up the radio. He lifted his head just in time to see another car turning into his lane beside him. Brian swerved the wheel, the mustang swung around in traffic, the last thing Brian remembered was his car swerving into the break down lane as the music drifted from the radio.



And all the leaves on the trees are falling

To the sound of the breezes that blow

And I'm trying to please to the calling

Of your heart-strings that play soft and low

*~*~*~*~*

"Brian, Brian, wake up... please...please wake up." A voice said breaking through the fogginess in Brian's brain.



He fluttered his eyes lids, he was trying hard to open them, but something would not let him. He felt someone holding his hand; on impulse he gave the hand a squeeze.



"That's right baby open your eyes. I'm here; open your eyes....doctor I think he's coming around."



Brian heard another voice began to speak. "Brian its Dr. Morgan. Can you hear me? Open your eyes for us Brian. Your husband would really love to see your eyes, it would make his day.



"Husband!!!" Brian said as his eyes flew open. To him it was a shout but to the people standing around, his voice was barely a whisper.



"I'm right here baby." 



Brian turned toward the voice and locked eyes with the beautiful blue eyes from the restaurant earlier that day. The eyes were shiny bright from unshed tears. There was a look of relief on the blond's beautiful angelic face. Brian tried to speak again but his throat was killing him. He raised his free hand to his throat "Hurts."



"You were in a bad accident today." Dr. Morgan said. "You are very lucky, you were not seriously hurt. You banged your throat and your larynx is a little sore, it will go away in a few days. You also have a nasty cut on your forehead head. It's right below your hairline."



"Brian, now you and I have matching scars." Brian looked toward the voice. He knew that was supposed to be a joke of sorts, but Brian had no idea what the person was talking about.



"What ...who..." Brian swallowed and grimaced at the pain. 



"Baby please don't try to speak. Everything is okay now." 



"Justin is right, Brian, just relax. Now that you're awake, I just want to take your vital signs. I'm recommending that you stay here tonight..."



Brian opened his mouth to protest, but Dr. Morgan raised his hand to silence him.



"I said I'm recommending it, but I know you well Brian and I know you would rather go home. If everything checks out with your vitals I would feel comfortable sending you home with Justin. I trust he will make sure you follow doctors' orders."



Brian was confused by the doctor's words; he spoke as if he was familiar with Brian. Yes Brian knew him because he was Melanie and Lindsay's family doctor and sometimes Brian would bring Gus in for his appointments. Dr. Morgan only knew Brian as Gus' father as far as Brian was concerned.



Justin squeezed Brian's hand. "Hey that's wonderful baby, you don't have to stay over." He said to Brian, before turning back to the doctor. "Thank you Dr. Morgan. You take good care of us."



"The Taylor-Kinney family is one of my favorites. I'll have the intern come in to take his vitals." 



The doctor left the room and Justin stood next Brian's bed holding his hand until the intern came in. Brian could only stare at Justin as he tried to remember what he was obviously forgetting.



The intern came in to interrupt Brian's thoughts. "How's the patient." She asked as she walked over to examine Brian. ("My name is Dr. Bellows; Dr. Morgan said you were anxious to leave us. Being that you were unconscious for the better part of an hour we just want to make sure everything is okay before we release you." The doctor looked in Brian eyes to make sure his pupils were not dilated. She then took his blood pleasure and checked his pulse. She helped him to sit up on the table and checked his vision once more as well as the strength in his hands." Okay I'm going to ask you a few questions; I know your throat is bothering you so I would rather you write down your answer. She handed him the clip board with a pad of paper. "Okay?" 



Brian nodded his head in response as Justin stood by and looked on. The doctor asked Brian personal questions such as his full name, date of birth and address. 



Brian was in the middle of answering the last question when Dr. Morgan returned to speak with Justin.



"How are we doing?" 



"So far so good" Justin answered happily



"Good to hear. Justin while they finish up in here the front desk needs some insurance information.



"Oh okay sure." Justin turned to face Brian. "I'll be right back." He leaned forward and kissed Brian on his forehead before leaving the room.



Dr. Morgan followed Justin out of the room as Dr. Bellows stood and smiled at Brian. "Your partner was really worried when you were still unconscious when he arrived."



Brian shook his head and tried to speak. "No partner." He said but the words came out low and gravelly and Dr. Bellows mistook what he was trying to say. 



"I apologize I mean your husband. I've seen you two before, you were with your son. I remember saying to myself what a beautiful family. Now are you experiencing any dizziness while sitting up?"



Brian shook his head slowly to indicate no as he was writing on the clipboard.



"Good, I see no reason to keep you here. I'll have them start your release papers at the front desk.



Brian was in the middle of writing down 'not my husband' on the clip board when his hand stilled. His mind worked quickly, it would be easier to go home and try to figure out what the hell was going on then to have to stay in the hospital to do it. He crumpled up the piece of paper he was writing on and smiled up at the doctor as she gave him a clean bill of health.



Justin returned followed by Dr. Morgan. Dr. Bellows gave him her report and along with Dr. Morgan's final assessment he told Brian and he was free to go home.



Justin thanked the doctor again and after the doctors left Justin turned to face Brian who was still sitting up on the bed. "Let's get you dressed and out of here." 



He noticed Brian's eyebrows were furrowed together. "Baby don't worry." He said as he reached over and ran his hand over his brow. Brian felt his skin tingle from the touch.



He opened his mouth to speak again, but Justin placed his fingers over his lips to silence him. "I said don't talk. I know what you're going to say. First off your precious Mustang took a serious beating. I made sure it was towed to Danny's garage, I know he is the only person you would have touch it. I haven't called Michael or any of the family yet. I wanted to make sure you were okay first before I caused them to panic. I mean you know how Debbie can be in a crisis. And lastly Marnie and Gus are at Daphne's, they don't know about your accident yet either.



Brian allowed Justin to help him dress, he knew he must have the most stupid look on his face, but for the life of him he couldn't figure out how this person knew all this information. How he knew about Danny and more importantly, how did he know his family? Brian tried to recall if Debbie ever introduced him to any one who remotely resembled this person. And who the hell were Marnie and Daphne. 



Justin helped Brian to stand so that he could finish getting dressed. He was a little wobbly at first so he had to lean a bit on Justin. He wrapped Brian's coat tightly around him before sitting him back down on the bed.



"I'll be right back." Justin said as he left the room and returned quickly with a wheel chair. Brian frowned when he saw Justin wheel it in.



"I know I know." Justin said once he saw Brian's face. "It's just until we leave the hospital, you know how Dr. Morgan can be."



Brian didn't protest as Justin helped him into the wheelchair, and they left the hospital room. Justin parked Brian outside the front of the hospital while he went to bring the car around. Brian felt like he was in the twilight zone. He couldn't stop himself from going willingly with this person. He had no clue where his wallet or his cell phone was, even if he had the cell phone, he could barely speak. He decided to see what this little twink was up to, what kind of game he was playing. He went through so much trouble to find out little things about Brian, I mean he knew who his mechanic was for goodness sake. Brian decided to see how far he would carry the game. 



Brian saw the red Durango from earlier today approaching. He stood up, and walked slowly toward the curb. Justin screeched the car to a stop and got out to assist Brian.



"Hey, hey slow down. You should have waited for me."



"Can do it..." Brian mouthed the words more than spoke them as Justin helped him into the passenger side of the car.



Brian sat back as Justin drove the car. He wondered where the blond was taking him. He knew he could handle him if he needed to, but curiosity and the fact that it killed to talk left him sitting there and watching. Brian took in Justin's features as he drove, he noticed his hands as he gripped the steering wheel, and they were strong hands, but soft at the same time. He remembered the bumper sticker he saw on the car earlier and he nodded his head to himself as he thought, those were definitely the hands of an artist. Justin felt Brian's eyes on him. He removed his right hand from the steering wheel and placed it on Brian's leg and stroked it reassuringly. 



"We're almost home. First thing I'm going to do is run a hot bath so you can soak and maybe prevent some stiffness." Justin removed his hand as he turned the car. Brian looked out the window and saw the familiar street. He looked at Justin suspiciously before turning back to the window. Justin pulled the car to a stop in front of Brian's building. He glanced again at Justin.



"I'll put the truck in the garage later; it's easier to park out front right now."



Justin got out and went around to open the passenger door to help Brian out. They walked up the front stairs and Brian stood back as Justin punched in the code to his apartment building. They entered the outer door, and walked up the flight of stairs to the second floor loft. Brian turned toward the stairs to continue walking up when Justin stopped at the second floor door. 



"Oh you want to go in through the upstairs door?" He asked when he noticed Brian about to walk up. 



Not knowing what else to do, Brian stopped and stood behind Justin as he unlocked the door. Justin slid the door open; he stood on the threshold and held his hand out to Brian. Brian walked in and looked around. It was similar to his loft space wise but it looked different. It had the kitchen, living room, dining room set up as his place, but the furnishings were different. The living room was gigantic and sitting in the far corner was the biggest television/movie screen Brian had ever seen. The area where Brian's bedroom sat in his loft was like a toy room. It was set up with TV's and video games, a doll house and lots of other games and entertainment. There were additional rooms in the loft, Brian glanced quickly through the open doors as they passed them, they appeared to be children's rooms. Brian wondered if Justin and his kid lived in the building all this time and he just never noticed them.



"Come on let's go upstairs and get you settled in." Justin walked over and took a bewildered Brian by the hand and led him past the movie screen to a set of stairs. The stairs led up to Brian's; at least it should have been Brian's loft. Brian didn't recognize it at all; for one thing his loft did not have a stairwell in it. When they entered the loft it was dramatically different. The kitchen was gone, the only thing there was the sink and counters, and the living room/ sitting area was moved closer to that space. The area where the living room used to be was set up as a studio. They walked past the studio to what still remained a bedroom, only it was much bigger. Justin led Brian through the bedroom to the bathroom, Brian stopped short at the bathroom door. In the bathroom instead of just the shower that Brian remembered being in his loft, there was now a huge bath tub built into the floor. Justin walked toward it and turned on the water.



He sat Brian on the small bench that was also not in the bathroom when Brian left it this morning. "Wait here I'll be right back. I want to run downstairs to the kitchen." Brian sat quietly in a daze. He could not absorb what was going on, what he was seeing. This was his address, but this was not the loft he walked out of this morning. Was it possible it just slipped his mind he was married with children and he renovated his entire apartment? Brian shook his head as he tried to rationalize what was going on. If someone was playing a joke on him this was pretty elaborate. Justin came back a few minutes later with a huge mug. 



"I made you some tea with lemon. I put a shot of Beam in it to ensure you'll drink. Just don't tell Dr. Morgan. He also gave me muscle relaxers for you, just a couple in case you suffer stiffness. We can call him for a full prescription if you need it."



Justin placed the mug down next to the tub. He helped Brian to stand and began to undress him. "Let's get you in the tub you'll feel much better once you soak." Brian stood and allowed Justin to undress him. Justin tossed Brian's outer coat in the corner, he made mental note to soak the blood stains in club soda before taking it to the cleaners. Soon Brian stood naked in front of Justin. "You will always be the most beautiful man I have ever seen. I love your body so much." He said as he stroked Brian's arm. 



Brian, not able to speak, looked back at Justin. This was all too bizarre, but he couldn't control the tingly feeling rushing through his body from Justin's touch and the way he looked at him. Justin noticed Brian building erection. "Hmmm as tempting as you are, we can't." Justin said grudgingly. "Let's get you in this tub before I changed my mind." 



The bathtub was made for at least two people. Brian climbed in and slid into the very warm water. He could almost feel some of the aches and tensions leave his body instantly. He tried not to relax too much, but Justin was making it difficult as he kneeled down beside the tub and gently massaged Brian's scalp. He could not stop the soft moans that were escaping him. Justin handed him his tea mug and Brian took a few sips.



Justin helped Brian from the water when it began to get cold. He dried him off and led him to the bedroom. Brian kept trying to speak, but Justin would not allow him. "You can do all the talking you want tomorrow, tonight just rest." Between the bath and the tea Brian was relaxed to the point where he did what Justin asked with no argument. He slid into bed naked and Justin covered him up with the soft sheets and warm duvet.



Justin went about straightening the bathroom, he placed a glass of water and the pills the doctor gave next to the bed stand in case Brian needed them during the night. As soon as everything was in order, Justin stripped off his clothes and climbed into bed beside Brian. Brian was slowly drifting off to sleep, as hard as it was he did not allow himself to fully relax. He felt the bed shift as Justin climbed in next to him. 



Justin was used to sleeping cuddled up next to Brian, but he didn't want to crowd him, and cause him unnecessary pain. Instead he reached out and grabbed Brian's hand and held it in his. It wasn't until that moment when he was lying in bed next to him did he let himself think about how very badly today could have ended up. Tears of fear and tears of relief streamed down Justin's face.



Brian felt the bed shake slightly as Justin tried to control his emotions. He looked over at Justin, and was surprised to see his face covered with tears. He looked at him questioningly.



"I know, I know, I'm a big baby." Justin said as he tried to compose himself. "I was just so scared. When Dr. Morgan called me to say you were in an accident, my heart stopped. And when I got there and you still hadn't regained consciousness, Brian I almost lost it, but I had to be strong. So you give me credit, I kept it together this long. I think the people at the hospital thought I was crazy I was screaming into the phone to find out where your stupid car was and make sure it was taken to Danny's just not to focus on you lying in the bed unconscious." Justin knew he was rambling, but he couldn't stop himself.



Brian not knowing what to do reached over to pull Justin to him. Justin resisted. "No, I don't want to hurt you. I should probably sleep over in the studio so I don't disturb you, but I just wanted to be near you right now. If I'm disturbing you I can go..."



"No..."Brian croaked out as he pulled Justin toward him again. This time Justin didn't resist. He scooted close to Brian and wrapped his arms around him as he laid his head on his chest listening to his heart beat.



Brian was not the cuddling type, and he never cuddled with his tricks. He rarely kissed them let alone held them, after he spent his load. The only man he has ever held and shared a bed with, without fucking him was his best friend Michael Novotny. But holding Justin was a lot different than holding Michael. 



Brian felt the tears falling on his chest, as Justin continued to cry. Brian held him until his eyelids were heavy and he knew sleep was taking over. As he drifted off Brian felt Justin's breathing began to even out and he knew he was drifting off as well. 

*~*~*~*~*

Brian woke to the sound of music drifting into the bedroom. He opened his eyes and raised his head slightly and felt the stiffness in his neck and back. He lay back down for second before forcing himself into a sitting position wincing at the pain as it shot through his aching muscles. He sat on the edge of the bed taking in the décor of the bedroom. There were a lot of differences to the room than he noticed last night. The only thing that was the same was the platform bed. The blue light fixture he had above his bed was replaced with a picture of a perpetual streaming waterfall. Brian looked at it approvingly. He had been planning on getting rid of those lights for some time.



Brian stood up and flexed his long lean body gritting his teeth against the pain. He noticed the art work on the walls, very tasteful pieces as if he picked them out himself. He walked naked from the bedroom toward the sound of the offending music. It sounded like someone was killing a cat. He stopped at the bottom of the steps leading from the bedroom and glanced around. His eyes landed on the back of a blond head. Justin stood in front of an empty canvas. His posture was relaxed and he had one hand resting on his overall clad hip. His free hand reached up and touched the soft tendrils at the nape of his neck.



"What are you doing out of bed." He said as he turned around. "And with nothing on your feet!" Justin screeched as he walked toward his naked partner.



"It would look rather ridiculous to put on shoes while standing here naked. Wouldn't you think?" Brian said his voice still a bit raspy and hoarse



"Hey, your voice is back sort of. Does it hurt to talk?"



"A little, it hurts worse to hear. What are you listening too?"



"You know that's Marnie's, she a real Brittany Spears fan. She left it in the CD player and I was too lazy to change it." Justin said sheepishly "Did I wake you with it: How are you feeling otherwise?"



"Marnie's?" Brian asked questioningly before wincing as he tried to flex his neck muscles again. "My neck and back is stiff as a motherfucker." 



"Come on, I can take care of that." Justin took Brian by the hand and led him back to the bedroom. "Here take these and then lay on your stomach" Justin handed Brian the muscle relaxers that were on the dresser and the glass of water.



Brian swallowed the pills and then lay on his stomach as instructed. He crossed his arms under his head and watched as Justin removed a bottle from the bedside night stand. He unhooked the clasps on his overalls and let them fall down by his ankles. He stood by the bed in just his underwear before climbing on top of Brian and straddling his hips. Even though he had on underwear Brian felt his warmth as if he was naked. He heard Justin flip open the bottle and the sound of him rubbing the contents he poured out between his hands.



Brian sucked in his breath from the initial contact. "Just relax baby," Justin soothed. "It's that heating massage oil we bought last month. It'll warm up nicely as I massage you."



Justin started with Brian's neck. His nimble fingers worked and massaged away the kinks before moving on to the shoulders. He could feel Brian relaxing as he worked his way down his body. He slid from Brian's hips down to the back of his legs as he massaged his lower back. Justin took his time to make sure he did not leave any spot untouched. He moved his hands to Brian butt cheeks, and massaged and worked his way down the back of each leg. 



Brian shifted as the stiffness left one part of his body began to build in another. It was starting to get very uncomfortable for him to remain lying on his stomach. When Justin got down to Brian's last toe he slowly worked his way back up again stretching his body out to cover Brian's. Brian could feel that Justin was experiencing a bit of stiffness of his own.



Justin brushed his nose against Brian's cheek. "Did you like that?" He asked, his warm breath caressing Brian's ear adding to his new stiffness.



Brian nodded his head.



Justin giggled as he kissed Brian on the back of his neck and rubbed his cheek against the hair at the nape of his neck. "If you feel up to it I can take care of that other problem you seem to be having." Justin slid off Brian's back. "Roll over onto your back."



Brian rolled over and his hard on sprung to life. Justin still had a bit of the massage lotion on his hand as he reached down and began to gently stroke Brian. The warmth of the massage oil caused Brian to wiggle. Justin looked down at his husband and smiled. He lowered his head and covered Brian's mouth with his. He devoured Brian's mouth. Brian was taken aback by the voracity and hunger in which Justin kissed him. He found himself kissing him back with just as much fervor. No trick had ever brought such hunger out of him.



Brian thought he was going cum right then and there like a little school boy, when Justin broke the kiss and whispered in his ear. "I know we shouldn't be doing this but I want you inside me." 



Brian lifted his shoulder and was about to push Justin onto his back, when Justin stopped him. "No, I'll do it." Justin gently shoved Brian until he was on his back again. He quickly removed his underwear and climbed on top of Brian naked. He leaned over to the night stand drawer and grabbed a bottle of lube. Justin quickly lubed Brian's rock hard penis and before Brian could speak about the lack of a condom, Justin lifted himself and closed his eyes as he lowered himself onto Brian's waiting erection.



Brian opened his mouth and all he could do was gasp in pleasure from the intense sensations traveling through his body at the feel of Justin wrapped around him. He never in his life had unprotected sex; he never even wanted to try it.



Justin began to move up and down, Brian couldn't think clearly. After a short while, Brian couldn't contain himself any longer. His breathing began to get heavier and Justin knew he was about to release. 



Right before Brian shot his load Justin squeezed his cheeks tightly around him. Brian lost it. The feel of Brian shooting inside him was Justin's undoing, he came right after Brian spilling his seed across Brian's chest. 



Justin slowly lifted his well ridden ass and Brian's deflating penis slipped out of him. He swung himself from on top of Brian and lay down beside him.



Justin stroked Brian's now sweated and matted hair as they both caught their breath. "You okay?" Justin asked, wanting to be sure he didn't over exert Brian.



Brian looked at Justin with amazement in his eyes. "Is it always that good?" He asked the question before he realized it was leaving his mouth, the lust in his voice making it sound even raspier.



Justin kissed him softly on the cheek. "Hmm I love your regular voice, but I would be lying if I didn't say you sound sexy as hell right now." He said with a smile. "And I'm just as amazed as you how good we are to together.



Brian eyelashes fluttered as his eyelids became heavy from a mixture of the muscle relaxers and his sexual encounter. Justin noticed the sleepy look on his face. "I think we may have over exerted you a bit." He said rolling over to t the side of Brian he kissed him on his cheek and stroked his hair as Brian drifted back off to sleep. As Brian slipped into oblivion he heard Justin softly whisper "I Love You" in his ear.

*~*~*~*~*

An hour later Brian woke to silence. There was no offending music playing as he pulled himself out of bed. He was not sure if it was the pills, the massage or the sex, but his body was feeling a lot better than when he woke up the first time. He stood by the bed and noticed a robe and a pair of slippers were laid out at the foot of the bed. He slipped on the robe and slippers and went in search of his 'husband'. The joke was over and it I was time for him to get some answers.



He walked into the studio area in search of Justin but he was no where to be found. The canvas that was blank earlier now portrayed a sketch of a sleeping Brian. Brian went to inspect the portrait close when the aroma of something cooking reached him. He didn't realized just how hungry he was until just that moment. He followed his nose and made his way toward the stairwell that led to the downstairs apartment. Justin looked up from the pot he was stirring when he heard him coming down the stairs.



"Hey, lunch is almost ready. I would have bought it up to you." 



"It smells good." Brian said his voice still a bit scratchy.



"It's one of the many dishes Debbie has frozen in our freezer. I figured you would enjoy some comfort food so I took out the stew. I let it simmer for a while so that the vegetables would be soft for you to swallow and the broth will be really good for your throat."



Brian went to sit at the table when Justin stopped him. "No have a seat on the couch, we'll be more comfortable over there."



Brian again did as he was told without argument. Justin brought over a tray and they sat on the sofa and ate their lunch. Brian recognized the taste immediately this was definitely Debbie's stew. It was one of the rare dishes she cooked that was not covered in marinara sauce.



Justin made small talk as they ate. Brian noticed he was relaxed and very familiar with him. He would occasionally reach over to touch Brian or wipe his lip. A few times he reached over and took a sip of the tea that he made for Brian because he forgot to make one for himself. Brian found himself actually liking this comfortable familiarity Justin had with him. He actually wanted to know more about this person.



"So you're an artist?" he asked speaking slowly as not to aggravate his throat."



Justin looked at Brian and laughed. "You never get tired of this do you? Yes, Brian I am an artist."



"Oh...okay, well did you pick out the paintings on the wall?"



"Hey it was your idea to hang only my paintings around the loft." Justin tried to make his tone accusing, but it always pleased him that Brian liked his work so much that he wanted them all around their home.



Brian glanced around the room taking in the paintings that adorned the walls; the ones in the downstairs area were just a good as the ones upstairs. "You're really good."



"You know babe, if you want to pay me a compliment just say it. You don't have to build up to it." Justin stood up and took their empty dishes to the sink. "Since you are feeling better you can come with me to Mel and Lindsay's.



"The munchers?" 



"Yeah Gus has called several times while you were sleeping. He is just as persistent as his daddy. He wants to come home and finish his project. "



"Home?" Brian asked questioningly. 



Justin returned to the couch where Brian was sitting. He noticed the confused look on his face. "Baby if you don't feel up to it that's fine. I can go alone."



"Baby..." Brian said raising his eyebrow questioningly. One thing he had always hated was when his tricks tried to give him pet names; he noticed that Justin had called him that quite often.



Justin smirked as he approached Brian and straddled him as he remained sitting on the couch. "Well I know you don't want me to start calling you snookums again." He said as straddled Brian and placed soft kisses on his face.



"You are correct." Brian answered as he instantly became aroused



"How about we leave clean up for later, go take a long shower and enjoy this alone time before our home returns to its chaotic madness." Justin stood and pulled Brian up behind him. He noticed the lustful spark in Brian's eye when he kissed him and it caused Justin's arousal to rise as well.



Brian allowed himself to be led to the stairwell. Justin walked backwards his eyes never leaving Brian's. When they reached the stairwell Justin turned around, he held on to Brian's hand as he led him up the stairs. Brian followed willingly. Regardless of what was going on, one thing he was sure of was his need to feel himself buried deep inside the beautiful blond in front of him again. 



Chapter 2



Justin pulled his truck into the driveway of Lindsay's and Mel's home. Brian didn't say a word as Justin again drove the familiar streets to the munchers as if he has been doing it for a lifetime. They got out of the car and walked up to the front door; a very pregnant Melanie opened the door before they even rang the bell.



"Hi guys, you missed brunch." She said. As she stood back to let them in, she noticed the bandage on Brian's forehead. "What happened to you?" 



Brian didn't know what surprised him more seeing Mel pregnant when she wasn't just couple of days ago or the fact that she was actually pleasant toward him. He reached up and touched his forehead before answering her question. "Oh, I was in a little car accident."



"Were you two fucking and driving again?"



"No, Brian lost control of the mustang." Justin answered "And I was not in the car with him."



"Thank goodness you weren't with him." Mel said before turning to Brian. "That was very stupid of you to be driving the mustang in this kind of weather, but then again look who I'm talking to."



Brian looked at Mel and smiled. "It's nice to know you are still the same in this alternate universe."



"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" 



Brian didn't answer as he continued to walk inside. Justin shrugged his shoulder as he followed him in.



Lindsay was in the dining room clearing the table when she noticed Brian "Late as usual. What's the excuse this time?" She spoke before getting a closer look and noticing the bandage on Brian face. "What did you do?"



"I was in a car accident, I'm fine just a bit sore."



"Oh Brian" Lindsay said as she approached her friend and gave him a gentle hug. "What's wrong with your voice? Sit down and tell me what happened." As Brian took a seat Lindsay walked over and greeted Justin with a kiss. She studied his face to make sure Brian was okay, she knew if he wasn't it would be evident on Justin's face.



"He's okay." Justin said quietly as he leaned into give Lindsay a reassuring hug. "His voice will be fine in a day or so, it's already much better than it was yesterday. 



The familiarity and closeness of the two was not lost on Brian. His mind began to work. *Maybe he knows Justin through Lindsay?* He thought. *I'll just need to get her alone to see what the hell was going on.*



Lindsay walked back toward Brian and began to chastise him. "Were you driving that stupid Mustang! I thought you said you would service the jeep for the winter. I told you I did not want the kids riding around in that thing. Why don't you get rid of that car and buy a practical vehicle like Justin's." She demanded



"Because, I'm not practical like Justin." Brian said not really sure if Justin was a practical person or not.



"Alright, I'll stop yelling now. I just want you to take better care of yourself. You have people who love you and 5 of them are in this house right now." Lindsay looked up as her pregnant wife walked into the room. "Make that 5.5"



"Love may not be exactly how I would describe my feelings.' Melanie said as she waddled by going to the back stairs through the kitchen..



Justin and Lindsay looked at each other and laughed. "Linds sorry to cut the visit short, but I don't want to over exert Brian. Are the kids ready to go home.?"



"Overexert him huh,... hmmm what does that mean? You only had sex four times instead of 6 so far today?" Lindsay said smiling at Justin as he blushed.



"It was only twice, the two blow jobs don't count."



Brian watched the banter between these two obviously old friends. He was never one to shy away from giving full details of his sex life, but listening to the two of them talking about it made him feel uneasy.



"Oh did the doctor prescribe the blow jobs for his throat?" Lindsay asked innocently



"Um actually I didn't think of that." Justin grinned as he turned to face Brian. "Baby we'll try that when we get home." He said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. He noticed that Brian eyebrows were furrowed. "Brian are you okay?"



"Um yeah I'm fine...let's just get Gus and head back to the loft. I um... I have some campaigns I need to work on for tomorrow." 



"Oh okay, Lindsay could you get the kids?" Justin asked as he studied Brian's face to see what was bothering him.



"Justin why don't you go, I actually want to talk to Lindsay."



"Sure, I'll be right back." Justin headed to the back stairs to get the children. He reached the top of the stairs just when Melanie was coming down with them. "Hey guys let's go down the front stairs, your dad is talking to your mom right now."



Melanie looked at Justin questioningly.



"Brian just wanted a moment with Lindsay" He said as he ushered them through the hall to the front stair well.



Brian stood and walked over to Lindsay. "What's going on Lindsay? I don't know how much longer I can go along with this charade. Is it a charade or am I crazy?"



"What are you talking about? What charade?" Lindsay asked surprised by Brian's behavior.



"This! Him!" Brian gestured toward the stairs with his hands. "Yesterday afternoon I saw him in a restaurant with a woman and a little girl. Never laid eyes on him until then and then yesterday evening I wake up in the hospital with him holding my hand and people referring to him as my husband."



"Brian what are you ....." Lindsay grew quiet for a moment. "Brian are saying you don't remember anything?" Lindsay asked gently.



"No I remember fine. I remember every aspect of my life. I remember seeing Justin for the first time yesterday morning and now everything it out of whack."



"Brian is it possible you have head trauma, and selective amnesia?" Lindsay said trying to understand what Brian was telling her.



"So I remember you and everything about you and our life, our son, Mikey and Emmett, my job...everything. I don't remember him! I don't remember my loft being rearranged or...or Melanie being pregnant. She was not pregnant when I came here on Friday."



"Melanie is carrying Justin's baby. I mean it's our baby, Justin is the sperm donor. This does not make sense, so you remember everything except anything associated with Justin. I take it he's not aware of this."



"No I haven't said anything. I thought someone was playing a joke on me at first but he knew too much about me, and he seems to really care about me."



"Brian, he loves you...wait a minute if you don't remember him why did he say you two made love today."



"Since when I have to know a guy to fuck him? And we fucked Lindsay, I don't make love."



"Well you do with Justin and it's only been Justin for the past 4 years." Lindsay sat down in the chair. She knew Brian was speaking the truth to her but she had no idea how to handle it. "What are you going to do? Gus and Marnie are waiting to go home with their daddies."



"Who is this Marnie?"



"Marnie is... Brian she's your daughter, yours, Justin's and Daphne's." 



"Why are they going with me, Gus lives here?"



"We share custody so that the kids can all be together at the same time. It's not a very conventional method but it works for us. The kids spend one month living with you and Justin, me and Melanie and Daphne and her husband. This way Gus and Marnie are always together and they have 3 sets of parents who love them dearly. It's a flexible arrangement and it has been working for us for the past 4 years ever since you and Justin remodeled the loft so that the kids would have their own rooms."



Brian sat down trying to take in all that Lindsay was telling him. He realized this was not a joke. He was married with children. He looked at Lindsay and shook his head wearily..."Daphne?" he asked questioningly



"She's Justin best friend, they grew up together. When they were still in high school she asked Justin to be her first, unfortunately they were not very careful...or fortunately rather, because if they were we wouldn't have Marnie."



"When they were in high school! So what are you saying? That I met and started a relationship with a kid with a kid four years ago."



"No you actually met Justin 7 years ago, he was still in high school. You bought him to the hospital the night Gus was born. He named our son Brian."



"No, no that's not what happened. I came to the hospital with Mikey and I chose the name Gus just to piss Melanie off, and I was opposed to the name Abraham." Brian laughed a humorless laugh; he just didn't know how to react right now.



Lindsay and Brian both looked up when they heard the sound of footsteps coming down the front stairwell



"Brian, you can't say anything to him. Not just yet, maybe this is temporary. Yeah... It's just a temporary memory loss." Lindsay said as she glanced toward the doorway leading to the living room. "You and the kids are his world; this would break his heart, and Marnie's."



"Lindsay this is not a memory loss damn it, my memories are not the same as yours or his." 



"Brian just don't say anything, how do you think he will feel if you tell him you remember every aspect of your life except anything concerning him."



Before Brian could respond two kids bounded into the dining room with Marnie making a beeline to Brian yelling she won as she jumped into his lap and wrapped her arms around him. "Poppy I won, I beat Gus again." She squealed with delight."



Justin looked over at Lindsay and saw the near tearful look on her face.



Brian looked down at the little face smiling up at him, this was the little girl he remembered from the restaurant, but he did not remember her from anyplace else. 



Melanie couldn't help but notice the tension in the room; the atmosphere had changed drastically from when she walked though moments early. She glanced toward Lindsay questioningly and saw the worried look on her face as well.



"Hey guys, why so serious?" Justin asked 



"Oh nothing, right Brian." Lindsay said tilting her head pleadingly toward Brian.



"Yeah nothing" Brian said quietly



Marnie looked up at Brian as he spoke. "Poppy sick" she asked before noticing the bandage on his forehead. "Poppy has a booboo." She kneeled in Brian's lap to lean up and kiss him on his bandage. "All better?" She asked smiling



"Yes." Brian said, he couldn't help himself from smiling back. "All better."



"Pop what happened? Did Dad hit you with a snowball again?" Gus asked as he walked over to give his father a quick hug.



"No Sonny boy not this time" Brian said even though he didn't recall a first time "I was in car accident but everything is okay."



His father didn't look hurt to him, so Gus was satisfied with that answer "Are we leaving now?" 



"Yeah let's go to Daddy's house" Marnie said as she climbed off of Brian's lap and walked toward her Daddy.



"Um guys." Lindsay said as she squatted down to be eye level with Gus. "How about if we switch off this week and you guys stay here for the week?" 



Justin stood puzzled by the request, now he knew definitely something was wrong.



"Mom we can't. Dad and Pop were going to help me with my art project this week. And they promised we would all watch the Christmas specials on the big screen that are coming on this week only." 



"Yeah Lindsay we promised." Brian said standing up. Just because he was a bit confused right now he didn't want to upset the children. It was very obvious to him now that whatever was going on was only within him. Maybe that joke to Melanie wasn't too far off; this was indeed an alternate universe.

*~*~*~*~*

Brian got out of the passenger seat and opened the back door to help Marnie out of her seat belt, and out of the car. Gus climbed over the seat and got out on Brian's side as well. The two kids raced to the front stoop as their fathers walked behind them. Justin was still trying to figure out what Brian and Lindsay could have been discussing so intently and why Lindsay wanted to keep the kids there for the week. *Maybe Brian wasn't feeling as good as he let on and didn't want to upset me* Justin thought to himself. Brian walked to the door and pressed in the code for the downstairs door, he was happy to see at least that was the same as he pulled the door open for the kids to enter. He waited for Justin before walking through the door himself. The kids ran up the stairs to the second floor door and waited for Justin to unlock the door before taking off to their rooms.



"Gus get your supplies together so we can finish your project." Justin yelled to their retreating backs.



"Speaking of projects, would you by chance know where my briefcase is? Also my cell phone and wallet for that matter?" Brian asked as he walked further into the loft, he felt he needed to focus on work for a while, he hoped he was still an ad exec.



"Oh I have your wallet. It was on your person when they brought you to the hospital, but your cell and brief case must still be in the mustang." Justin noticed the disappointed look on Brian's face. "I tell you what. I'll go by Danny's garage tomorrow after dropping the kids at school and I'll pick up your brief case and cell. We can work at home together tomorrow."



"No I need to go to the office, I'll go with you in the morning and you can drop me at the office. I'll see about getting a rental until I get the jeep serviced."



"You sure you don't want to stay home tomorrow? It might do you good to rest one more day."



"No, I need to go to the office." Brian said as he headed towards the back stairs to the upper level.



Justin watched him, before calling Gus to gather his supplies for his project again.



Justin spent a good 3 hours helping Gus with his project. It took longer because Justin insisted that Gus do most of it himself. Brian normally hung around and pretended to supervise while they worked on the kid's projects, but Justin assumed he wasn't feeling too great and that was why he stayed upstairs. 



When they finished with his project, Gus beamed with pride at what he had created.



"What do you think Marnie?' Justin asked his precocious daughter who was staring at the project intently.



"Very colorful...what is it?"



"You don't know nothing" Gus said picking up his project and heading toward the stairwell. "Let's go show pop."



"That's *anything* Gus, not *nothing*... and be nice to your sister." Justin took Marnie by the hand who was not in the least bit fazed by her brother's comment,. They argued and fought all the time, but still remained the best of friends. "Come on sweetie let's go see what your poppie is up too, he's been very quiet." They followed behind Gus who walked careful up the stairs as not to drop his project.



"Hey pop look what I made...and dad helped." Gus said as he walked into the upstairs area. He spotted Brian sitting at the computer. 



"I helped very little; he did the majority of the work himself."



"Hey sonny boy that's terrific. When you get older you can come work

for your old man, we can use your talent in the art department." Brian closed out of the sites he was looking at and turned the printouts he made face down.



"Yeah he did a great job." Justin agreed "What are you doing?" Justin asked as he walked toward the desk. He noticed Brian open the drawer and place the papers into the top draw. "We missed you downstairs, but I thought maybe you were sleeping."



"Um no I was ... I was doing some research. I'm thinking of acquiring a new campaign and I wanted to research the company." Brian lied. One thing he knew was that he never lied, never had a reason to, but he promised Lindsay he wouldn't say anything just yet. He didn't know how to explain why he was looking up anything he could find on selective amnesia. He wanted to see if that might be what's going on with him. From what he read so far it didn't fit to what he was going through.



"Oh, you didn't tell me. What company?"



"Um...Baby Clean, baby wipes. I wanted to get my facts together before I pitch to them."



"Oh okay, well let me know what you find and I'll help with the pitch ...put together dummy mock ups or something."



"Okay." Brian stood up from behind the desk 



Marnie let go of Justin's hand and walked over to her brother. "Come on Gus let's go play." 



"Okay." Gus said with a shrug. The two turned and headed back downstairs.



Justin stood, "I'm going to head downstairs to start dinner. Do you feel up to helping me or did you want to stay up here?"



"I'll be down in a minute." Brian said as he continued to stand beside the desk.



"Okay." Justin turn to head downstairs, he stopped and walked over to Brian. Justin leaned in and kissed his husband on the cheek. He wrapped his arms around him for a quick hug as if he was trying to reassure himself everything was okay. He noticed Brian's hesitation before he hugged him back.



"Well come down when you're ready I need you to chop some peppers." Justin said trying to lighten the mood a bit.



Brian watched him leave before removing the papers he placed in the drawer. He sat back down in the chair before reaching for the phone. It was answered on the 3rd ring.



"Meet me for lunch tomorrow at the office." He said before the person could even say hello.



"Okay, and hello to you too."



"Yeah, whatever bye" Brian disconnected the call.



Brian placed the phone back on the desk when it rang. He answered it quickly thinking it was Michael calling him back. 



"I said goodbye." He barked into the phone



"Brian." The soft voice said on the other end.



"Oh Lindsay, I thought you were Mikey."



"Oh, sorry. I was just checking in making sure everything was okay...Is everything okay?



"Everything is fine."



"Are the children okay?"



"The children are fine. Lindsay I didn't say anything to Justin. I told you I wouldn't."



"I know, I was just...I was worried okay."



"Don't be. I have to go you should know better than to call during dinner time."



"Brian, keep me posted okay."



"Yes Lindsay I will keep you posted. Goodbye."



"Bye."



Brian hung up the receiver and placed the papers back in the drawer before heading downstairs.



He stood at the back of the stairs as he watched Justin in the kitchen preparing dinner. He heard the children in one of the bedrooms playing what sounded like video games. Brian walked toward Justin who looked up as he approached and smiled.



"Just in time" Justin said handing Brian a knife and a huge pepper. "This pepper has your name on it."



Brian shook his head as he placed the pepper on the counter and began cutting it in half.



"Who was on the phone?" Justin asked



"Oh that was Lindsay."



"Lindsay, what did she want?"



"Nothing" Brian said diverting his eyes as he changed the subject. "So what are you making?" 



"We are making fajitas. I figured after that high carb beef stew you would like something some a bit lower carb for dinner, and besides the kids love them. Make sure you cut the peppers into thin strips. Marnie thought they were too chunky last time."



"Yes sir. We don't want a reprimand from Marnie." Brian said jokingly.



Justin turned around from the stove and flashed Brian a beautiful smile. This was his Brian; maybe he was imagining the tension at the munchers and upstairs. "You are right about that."



Brian walked over and handed the sliced peppers to Justin to add to the sauté of onions. He watched as Justin cooked and listened as he retold stories about the kids and their antics. Brian nodded in agreement whenever Justin would look toward him for his input. Not one of the stories triggered a memory for Brian but the way Justin told it, Brian was able to imagine each story as if he was there.



Soon dinner was on the table and Brian could not help but sit back and watch the domesticity of it all. This was a family unlike any he had ever been a part of. He looked at the kids and they were genuinely happy children, as they chattered about their friends and school. Justin listened to their every word and Brian found himself listening and laughing as well. He was never this happy or chatty as a child, his father wouldn't allow it. Dinners were never relaxed; everyone was always tense waiting for Jack to blow up about something. He was not much of a fatherly role model so it surprised Brian that in "this life" he was a family man. 



Even the dinners at Debbie and Michael were not this pleasant. They were not tense like at the Kinney household, but they were loud. Debbie Novotny was a loud woman and she was constantly yelling at Michael or Brian about their recent exploits. She mostly yelled at Brian. Brian smiled thinking about his surrogate mom, she may have been loud but she was 100 times a better mother to him than one who gave birth to him.



"Brian, Brian." Justin said trying to bring Brian back to the present.



"Hmm.."



"Where did you go?" Justin asked smiling at the relaxed look on Brian face.



"Oddly enough I was thinking a bout Debbie."



"Odd and Debbie, yeah that fits." Justin laughed as he stood and began clearing the table. "Did you want desert I have lemon bars from the diner?" He asked as he walked back over to take the remaining dinner dishes.



"Yay lemon bars. Nana Debbie makes the best." Marnie said as she bounced around in her seat.



"You only had Nana Debbie's stupid head."



"Gus do not call your sister names." Brian said without thinking. His head snapped up abruptly when he realized what he said. *Shit I sound like a parent* He thought to himself. *I think I need to lie down*



"I think I'll pass on the lemon bars. I need to lie down." Brian stood up and headed toward the stairs. 



Justin became immediately concerned. "Baby you okay?"



"Yeah I'm fine I'm just need to lie down for a minute."



"Pop you promised to watched *The Grinch who Stole Christmas* with us tonight. You said it was your favorite as a kid."



Brian turned to see the disappointed look on Gus' face. He didn't remember telling Gus that but it was true. It was his favorite. The Grinch reminded him of his father and he believed if the Grinch could have a heart than maybe his dad could too. Unfortunately he was wrong. 



"How about we have dessert, and afterwards you two get ready for bed and get your clothes and everything ready for school tomorrow. If your daddy is still up by the time the show starts I'm sure we can convince him to watch with us. How does that sound?" Justin asked the question to the kids but looked directly Brian.



"That sounds good to me." Brian said in agreement. He just needed a few minutes to himself.



Almost an hour had passed when Brian heard Justin climbing up the stairs. Brian lay across the bed staring up at the ceiling.



"The kids are waiting. Do you feel up to coming down?" Justin asked as he sat on the edge of the bed and stroked Brian's forehead.



"Yeah, I feel fine." Brian said loving the feel of Justin's touch.



Brian climbed off the bed and did not object when Justin grabbed his hand as they walked down the stairs. Brian watched the kid's faces light up in a big smile when they saw him coming down with Justin. Both children were dressed in their pajamas; faces freshly scrubbed looking like little angels. Brian sat on one end of the couch as Justin took the other. Marnie climbed immediately into Brian's lap and made herself comfortable. Brian was beginning to suspect his lap was reserved just for her. Gus pulled his legs up underneath him as he leaned against Justin. 



The large screen was already on the proper channel and after a few commercials the show began. Gus had seen the cartoon a few times, so had Marnie but she could never remember it. Partly because she always fell asleep before the first commercial break, this time was no different.



Brian held the sleeping child throughout the entire program and every now and then he would look and feel Justin's eyes on him. After the cartoon ended they carried the children to bed. Justin removed the monitors from the drawer and placed them on the dresser in Gus and Marnie's room. They only used them at night so that they could hear the kids if they needed them.



Brian followed Justin around as they made sure everything was put away and the lower level of the loft was locked up. Once everything was taken care of Justin turned to Brian catching him off guard as he threw his arms around his neck. "Now it's time to put you to bed." He said wickedly. "How does a long hot shower sound?"



Brian looked down at the beautiful face smiling up at him; instead of answering him he bent down kissed his lips.



"I agree." Justin said huskily once they parted. "Let's go." He said as he rushed toward the stairs with Brian close on his heels.



Chapter 3 



Brian walked into Danny's garage and stopped short when he saw his precious mustang. The front fender was bent in and the hood was crushed up almost to the front seat. Brian was amazed he walked away from this accident with the minor injuries he suffered.



Brian heard Justin intake of breath as he noticed the car for the first time. "Christ."



Without thinking Brian reached out and touched his arm as to let him know he was standing right there, he was okay.



Justin turned serious eyes toward Brian. "You are never driving this car again in the winter time." He said sternly "It's either the jeep or walk."



Brian smirked at the authoritative tone Justin took with him. He was saved from having to respond when Danny approached them.



"Brian it's good to see you. When they brought the 'stang in I was a bit worried about you" He said as he approached his old friend. Danny gave Brian the once over. "You don't look like you were in accident at all." He said taking in Brian's business dress and as usual flawless appearance.



Against Justin's protest Brian removed the bandage from his forehead and combed his hair forward to cover the scar. He didn't want to field questions all day about what happened to him. His voice was pretty much back to normal, so the bandage would have been the only telling sign that something was wrong with him.



"I thing the mustang took the brunt of the accident. Is she salvageable?"



"Yeah she'll make it, but she will be here for a while. I have to order a few parts.



"Thanks Danny. Take your time I want her fixed right. No half assing."



"Leave my ass out of this." Danny said jokingly. 



"That won't be hard. You don't have much back there." 



Justin laughed at the banter between the two friends, it was like this every time they came to the garage. Brian and Danny were friends from high school. Danny was one of the few heterosexual males Brian could truly call a friend. Justin always wondered what kind of havoc those two caused in high school. Both smart and devilishly handsome, even though Danny never went to college and he was still an intellectual match for Brian. 



Danny ignored Brian as he turned his attention to Justin. "So I guess this accident didn't knock any nice-ness into him huh?"



Justin raised his hands in protest. "No comment."



Danny smiled at Justin making his already handsome face even more handsome.



"Danny I need you to do me a favor. Do you think someone can go by the loft and pick up the Jeep from the garage? It hasn't been driven in almost a year and Brian's going to need it for the rest of the winter." Justin reached into his satchel and dug out an extra set of car keys and handed them to Danny.



"No problem. I'll actually have Tony head over with the tow truck. It probably just needs an oil change and to be winterized. I should have it ready by this evening." Danny turned and approached a young man who was standing off to the side of the garage. He handed him the keys Justin gave him, before returning back to Brian and Justin.



"He's going to head over there now. Now Brian I suppose you are looking for your briefcase and cell phone." Danny stated



"Actually that's why we came." Brian said



"They're both in my office. I'll be right back."



Justin moved closer to Brian when Danny left. "Do you want to stop at Starbucks on the way to the office? I can certainly use a hot mocha latta."



"That actually sounds pretty good."



"Great. I think I'll head over to the gallery about noon today. Do you want me to drop you at the diner to meet Michael when I leave?"



Brian relaxed feature grew serious at the mention of Michael's name. "How did you know I was having lunch with Michael?" He didn't recall mentioning to Justin that he called Michael last night.



"Brian the two of you meet at the diner every Monday for lunch. You been doing it for years don't you think I would remember."



"Well yeah of course." Brian said hesitantly. "It's just that Michael is meeting me at the office today."



"Oh."



"Yeah, I called to have him meet me there and we can go to lunch from the office."



"Oh, well that's perfect then." Justin smiled at Brian. 



"Yeah, it saves you from being my chauffer." 



Danny returned with the briefcase and handed it to Brian along with his cell phone.



"You know that thing never stopped ringing." 



"Really" Brian said as he scrolled through the missed calls, he was surprised to see most of them were from Ted. "Now why would Theodore be calling me so much?" He asked out loud, but to no one in particular. 



"It's most likely work related and you told him you would string him up if he ever called you at home for work issues, he figures the cell phone is a safe bet."



"Oh"



Justin noticed the still puzzled look on Brian face. "Brian are you sure you are up to going to work today, you seem a bit confused."



"I'm fine." Brian said a bit too gruffly before softening his voice. "Don't hover I'm okay. I was just thinking what could be so important to warrant so many phone calls from Ted."



"Well then we better head to the office and find out."

*~*~*~*~*

Brian watched quietly as Justin pulled the SUV into a parking space next to what used to be a bath house Brian frequented few years back. As far as he could remember this place was closed down for the past 5 years. Justin opened and climbed out he reached back in to grab his coffee and portfolio, he noticed Brian still sitting there.



"You coming?"



"Um yeah" Brian said still confused, Justin just didn't seem like the type to visit a place like the baths. Brian opened his door as Justin closed the driver side. He debated whether or not he should take his coffee and briefcase. Seeing that Justin did, Brian reached and grabbed his before closing the door. He walked with Justin toward the front of the building and stopped short when he saw the name on the building. "Kinnetic?" He said softly that Justin could barely hear him.



"What's that?" Justin asked as he held the door open for Brian to walk through before following him in. 



Brian continued walking trying to take it all in without looking too shocked, the old raunchy bath house was transformed to the exact work environment he had always envisioned for his own company. The third floor space of the downtown high rise was never what he wanted for his own company, but it was all his realtor could find him at the time when he decided to venture out on his own. The place was busy and alive; people smiled and greeted Brian and Justin as they walked through the entry toward the back offices. Some referred to Brian by his name and others simply called him boss. 



"Okay Babe, I'll be in the art department, I'll check in before I leave." 



Brian had stopped walking and turned to face Justin when he began talking. Justin leaned over to kiss Brian on the lips. "Love you and don't be too hard on Ted." He said before disappearing down the hall.



Brian stood and watched Justin walk down the hall; he wasn't quite sure where to go at this point. He didn't have to wait long before he heard a familiar voice. 



"Boss it's about time you got here. How did the Lil Tykes Active Wear meeting go this weekend with Mr. Tate? Did you make the final changes? Also Mr. Brown called already this morning, he's curious about the women's sport wear ad. And you are meeting with the heads of the donut chain this afternoon; the file is on your desk. Also..."



"Whoa, slow down Cynthia. Let's go into my office and I can drink my coffee and then you can fill me in."



"Fine, after you" Cynthia said extend her hand.



"No, by all means after you" Brian said stepping back so that Cynthia would walk in front of him and lead him to his office that he was really anxious to see.



Brian didn't think he could be any more amazed, but as soon as he stepped into his office he was in awe. His office at Ryder and at Kinney Advertising was no where near as perfect as this one. He walked around and sat behind his desk. He spun around in his chair like a little kid. "This is fucking amazing"



"What has gotten into you, what's so amazing?"



"This!" Brian spread his arms out 



"No different than it was last week." 



"A hell of a lot better than Ryder and Kinney Advertising."



"What's Kinney Advertising?"



"The place I started after leaving Ryder."



"Brian you didn't technically leave Ryder. It was bought out by Vanguard then Gardner fired you so you didn't technically leave there either. I don't know where you got Kinney Advertising from unless you had a side business I knew nothing about."



"Well whatever." Brian said shrugging it off 'Kinnetic is a much better name anyway."



"You have your very handsome and talented husband to thank for that, he came up with the name."



Brian immediate though of what Lindsay had told him the other day about Justin being the one to name Gus as well.



"Well I guess we should we get back to business." Brian sat and listened while Cynthia gave him the run down on today's business. He felt his old self in no time; this is what he knew and was good at.



Brian was deep into work and lost all track of time when he heard people talking as they entered his office. He looked up as Justin and Ted walked in looking over files.



"Hey boss." Ted greeted him



"Theodore, you're looking sharp today." Brian said and he actually meant it. "Ted normally looked frumpy and boring, as was expected from an accountant. But today he looked like he actually shopped where Brian would shop. 



"Thanks Bri, I guess being that you pay me the big bucks I should dress accordingly. Speaking of big bucks I was just chatting with Justin about how well the sales are doing. You guys are doing a great job and you may have to make some big purchases this year for tax write offs or Uncle Sam is really going to stick it to you." Ted handed Brian the file he was looking over.



"Well if you guys are about to talk money I'm out of here." He walked around Brian's desk. Brian was now standing up. "I just wanted to say goodbye. I'm heading to the gallery and then I'm picking up the kids. Call me if you need me." He leaned in to kiss Brian on his lips and for a quick hug. 



"Are feeling okay?" He asked quietly against Brian's ear to avoid questions from Ted. "Justin felt Brian head nod against his cheek before pulling away. "See you at home, and don't let Ted talk you into buying anymore night clubs, Babylon is enough." Justin said as he left the office.



"Don't blame Babylon on me." Ted yelled to Justin retreating back.



"I bought Babylon?" Brian said as his looked over the third quarter figures and estimated fourth quarter figures. "Wow" he said softly as he took in how well his company was doing.



"Yeah that one still has me floored, but it turned out to be a good investment. Rebuilding after the bombing was a good idea."



"Bombing?"



"Yeah I would like to forget it myself. It's been over 4 years and I still have nightmares." Ted shook off the unpleasant memories "Back to the present. Have any idea what you want to buy?"



"I have to think about."



"Well think fast." Ted said as he took he turned to leave the office.



Brian was thoroughly impressed with this new assertive Ted. He found himself smiling as Ted departed his office. 



Brian settled back down to work but he didn't get much accomplished before he was interrupted again by his best friend from childhood. The one person Brian hoped who could help him make sense of what was going on right now.



"Okay I'm here. Why couldn't we meet at the diner?"



"Mikey!" Brian walked over to Michael and pulled him in for a hug. It always amazed him that Michael still looked like the 14 year old boy who became his best friend after Brian saved him from being stuffed in his locker by the local 8th grade bullies.



"You never change."



"What is that supposed to mean. How much am I supposed to have changed in a couple of days?" Michael eyed Brian suspiciously. "Okay what's going on...did you and Justin have a fight?"



"What makes you ask that?"



"You always act weird when you two have a fight?"



"Well we didn't have a fight, and you are not going to believe what I have to tell you." Brian grabbed his jacket and headed towards the door.



"Cynthia take care of my appointments for this afternoon, I'm not sure when I will be back."



"But Brian you have..."



"I'm confident you can handle it." He said cutting her off and not daring to turn around as he walked out the door.



"Where did you park?"



"Over there." Mikey said pointing to his Black Pathfinder. "We're not taking the mustang?" He said as they walked to his truck.



"It's out of commission I totaled it over the weekend."



Mikey stopped short. "What!" he shouted to Brian's back as he continued to walk. "You were in an accident and no one told me!"



"Mikey we'll talk about it over lunch. The accident is the least of my problems, or the root of my problems. Frankly I just don't know right now."

*~*~*~*~*

Brian and Michael decided to stop at a café not too far from the office. It wasn't very crowded so they were able to get a table in the back so that could talk in peace.



Michael looked up at the waitress with a forced smile as she filled his coffee cup for the 3rd time.



"Brian this doesn't make any sense. You don't remember anything about Justin. The past 7 years don't exist?"



"No I remember the past 7 years but he's just not a part of what I remember neither is Marnie, Kinnetic or the fact that Theodore works for me. Oh and the biggest kicker is Melanie's pregnant."



"Brian were the doctors sure you didn't suffer from selective amnesia, what did they say when you told them you didn't remember things?"



"I didn't tell them"



"Why the hell not!" Michael screeched and then looked around the cafe to see if anyone heard him.



"I told you I saw Justin at the restaurant Saturday afternoon and I thought it was strange seeing him at the hospital calling himself my husband." Brian shrugged" "I just wanted to see what this was about and how he planned to play out his little scenario. I was shocked when it appeared to be me playing the role and not him. He really believes he's my husband."



"He is and you do have two children and you are in a loving monogamous relationship. Brian this is way too bizarre. Justin has no idea you don't remember him."



"He hasn't let on if he does."



"Well you can't tell him... you just can't tell. It will kill him"



"Geezez, Michael, now you sound like Lindsay."



"She knows?"



"Yeah we went to her house to pick up the kids. How do think I found out Mel was pregnant and by Justin no less? There's probably a major battle of good and evil going on in her womb right about now."



"Brian this I not the time for jokes. You need to see a doctor and make sure everything is okay."



"I thought about that and...No, I'm not seeing a shrink. I'll figure this out on my own."



"But what about when Justin wants to have sex?"



"Michael, we already had sex...several times as a matter of fact."



"But...never mind. Did that seem familiar at all?"



Brian thought about telling Michael it was like nothing he had ever experienced with another person. But he instead he simply said "No."



Michael looked down at his watch. "Shit, it's almost 5:00! Hunter is going to be livid; I told him I would be back hours ago."



"Why?"



"He's watching the comic book shop for me."



"Oh yeah the shop. Okay I remember you sold the shop 2 years after you bought it because business was not good"



"You are half right. 5 years ago I almost sold the shop, because business was not good." Michael looked at Brian closely before continuing to speak, "...but Rage saved the day."



"Rage? Is that supposed to mean something to me?"



"Yeah, it should. It's the first gay comic book ever created. I write the storylines and Justin does the illustrations. It's very successful and it was almost a movie. We haven't given up hope on that becoming a reality one day."



"Mikey, I need a drink. Let's head over to Woody's then to Babylon, I hear I own the joint so I can get you in for free."



"Brian I can't and neither can you. Justin will be livid."



"What do I care, I don't live in this alternate universe, I'm just visiting and I'm going to have fun while I'm..." Brian speech was cut off by the ringing of his cell phone. He actually froze for a split second when he heard it, not really sure why, but he was afraid it could have been Justin.



"Hello,"



"Hey Brian its Danny. I just wanted to let you know your Jeep was ready."



"Terrific and perfect timing, I'll be there to pick it up in a few minutes."



"You don't have to; I can have someone take it to the loft."



"Not necessary, Mikey's with me and he will be happy to drop me off. See you in a bit."



Brian disconnected the call, paid the tab and stood up. "Come on let's go. You can take me to pick up the jeep from the garage then I can have fun by myself."



"Brian..."



"Let's just go."



"Fine" Michael drove Brian to Danny's garage. He tried several times to reason with Brian and convince him to see a doctor. Brian refused.



"Thanks for the lift. I'll call you."



"When you get home in about a half hour?"



"When I get home, quite possibly tomorrow morning" Brian got out of the jeep and slammed the door shut before Michael could respond. Michael waited until Brian disappeared into the garage before heading back to the comic book shop to relieve Hunter and close up.



Brian walked in to the garage and straight to Danny's office.



"Hey Bri, here's your keys." Danny said as he picked up the keys and tossed them to Brian. "She's parked right out front; I'll just charge your credit card for the labor."



"Okay that's fine. Hey what are you doing right now?" He asked out of the blue.



"Nothing, just getting ready to head home" He said shrugging out of the overalls he had pulled on over his clothes.



"Want to get a drink at Woody's?"



Danny was about to refuse until he saw Brian's face. He looked as if he did need a drink with a friend. "Sure, what happened to Mikey."



"He had things to take care of."



"Oh, how about the Gypsy Bar instead?" Danny asked. He would much rather prefer going to a heterosexual bar. He had no problem hanging out in the gay bars with Brian and his friends, but it seemed he rarely got Brian to go to the straight bars with him."



"Next time" Brian said knowing next time rarely happens.



"I knew you were going to say that. Let me wash my face and hands and I'll meet you there so we can have our own cars."

*~*~*~*~*

Brian sat at the corner bar so he could watch the door as people came and left. He was finishing off his first drink when Danny arrived. Danny spotted him right off.



"I'll have what he's having." He said to the bartender as he settled down next to Brian.



"How do you know what I was having?"



"Double Beam neat, you never stray." Danny said matter of fact.



"Smart ass!"



Danny nodded his head in agreement. He took a swig of the drink the bartender set before him and watched as Brian took a big swallow of his second drink. "So why are you sitting in a bar on a Monday evening instead of being home with your family having dinner?"



"I felt the need for a drink and later I need to feel the thumpa thumpa of wild music and watching hot sweaty guys grinding their asses on the dance floor. Care to join me?"



"Hmm you paint such a lovely picture, but, no. You know Woody's is my limit. Hot sweaty guys rubbing their hard on against my ass just doesn't do it for me my friend."



"Well you don't know what you're missing."



"I know what I like and that's hot sweating women rubbing their breasts against my chest. Now you don't know what you're missing."



"Been there done that. You forget I was a promiscuous college kid. That curiosity was satisfied and laid to rest forever." Brian said as he ordered another drink. "When are you going to satisfy yours?" He said giving a Danny mischievous look."



Danny looked at Brian and laughed "Brian I know we didn't come here to talk about me. Seriously. What's wrong? Are you and Justin having problems?"



"Can't I just have a drink with an old friend without there being a reason behind it?"



Danny studied Brian's features before replying. "Of course you can."



Danny ordered another. "Hey Brian, you remember the time when you, me and Mikey sneaked into the girls locker room while they had field hockey practice and put that blue colored dye in half the teams hair conditioner bottles."



Brian chuckled." Geezez, we were bad! We never got caught either. Mikey was the perfect look out; all the teachers thought he was a saint and he could get them talking long enough for us to escape."



"Yeah, he was great! And half the field hockey team looked like Smurfs except poor Marsha Palmer, her hair fell out."



"She was such a bitch, she deserved it."



"Why did we do that again?"



"I don't know...I think it was revenge against something they did to Michael" Brian though for a moment. "I think all of the pranks we pulled in high school were revenge for someone bothering Michael or gay bashing me."



"Mostly in defense of Michael because not too many people had the balls to gay bash you."



"True." Brian said thoughtful.



Brian and Danny continued talking about their high school antics both oblivious to the passage of time. 

*~*~*~*~*

"Daddy where's Poppa" asked Marnie as she, Justin and Gus sat down to dinner.



"He's probably held up at the office. He should be home shortly." Justin answered with what he hoped was a convincing smile. In truth he was getting worried. He called the office around 6:00 when Brian didn't show and Cynthia told him he left with Michael around 1:00 and he never came back to the office.



Justin figured he and Michael got caught up and lost track a time, but when 7:00 rolled around and still no Brian, Justin relented and called his cell phone. Brian didn't answer, it went straight to voicemail. 



Justin decided to feed the children and get them ready for bed before calling Michael. He wanted to give Brian time to call himself or to come home before he started the search party. He hated to call around looking for Brian, because they didn't keep tabs on each other like that, but Brian would normally call if he was not coming straight home.

*~*~*~*~*

"Michael what's wrong you barely touched your dinner." Ben asked with concern as he studied his husband's face."



Michael and Ben Buckner had been married for going on 6 years now. Ben could always recognize when something was bothering Michael and he could always recognize when it was a Brian situation. He knew whatever was bothering Michael right now was a Brian situation.



"It's Brian."



"I thought as much."



"Hunter would you mind clearing the table, I need to talk with Ben."



"Michael, I'm 20 years old, when are you going stop treating me like a kid."



"I'm not treating you like a kid, it's just that it's a private matter and Brian probably wouldn't want me sharing it with too many people."



"What, he's impotent or something?"



"No, it's not that. I will tell you when the time is right okay."



"Fine, I'll clear the table then I'll go to my room and color for a while. To hell with studying for the Political Science midterm I have coming up."



"Glad to see you are not pouting, and if you color quietly I'll buy you a new box of crayons." Michael said smiling at his son.



His broad smile widened when Hunter glared back at him as he began clearing the table.



Ben rose and took Michael by the hand and led him to the living area of their house.



"What's going on with Brian?"



"Ben, I don't even know how to explain it. He was in an accident on Saturday."



"Accident! What happened?"



"He crashed the mustang; he's fine but not really."



"Michael you are not making any sense?"



"Ben you can't mention this to anyone, I probably shouldn't be telling you. 

I don't know, Brian seems to be suffering from amnesia, but the weird part is he remembers everything except anything that involves Justin."



"I don't understand."



"He remembers everything except Justin, Marnie, Rage, Kinnetic, Mel being pregnant. All of the things that wouldn't have existed if Justin had not existed.



"Wow, I have to tell you that is not what I expected you to tell me. Poor Justin how does he feel about this? This must hurt being that he and Brian are finally on the same page with their feelings about one another."



"Justin doesn't know. Only me and Lindsay and now you. I was trying to convince him to see a doctor about it, but he refuses to talk to a shrink."



"Wow, man...I can see why you're upset."



"That's not the worst part. I'm afraid Brian is going to do something to jeopardize his marriage. He doesn't remember how happy he and Justin are. He wanted to go for a drink at Woody's today."



"What's wrong with that?"



"I don't think a drink is all he's looking for tonight. He also mentioned going to Babylon and having some fun. I think he may be resorting back to his old ways and I don't want him to do anything he's going to regret. Ben, he will regret it if he destroys his home with Justin."



"Do you think he went out without you?"



"I tried calling his cell, and I'm getting his voice mail. I'm taking the fact that Justin hasn't called looking for him as a good sign, but I just don't know."



"Maybe you should call Justin?"



"And say what?"



"I don't know Michael, but it's quite possible Justin could be sitting at home worried sick about Brian. I mean he was just in an accident."



"You're right." Michael picked up the phone and dialed the loft. Justin answered on the first ring.



"Justin hey it's Michael."



"Michael, I was just about to call you. Did you kidnap my husband or what?"



"Uh..uh ..no..no um Brian's not here?"



"He's not?"



Michael could hear the panic begin in Justin's voice. "Um no, he's at Woody's, waiting for you."



"What? Why is he waiting for me at Woody's?"



"He um..., he told me about the accident and how worried you've been, and he felt you two needed a night out to relax so he told me to have you meet him at Woody's."



"Michael the kids are here, I can't go out."



"See I screwed everything up." Michael said glancing at Ben to help him through this lie. "Ben and I were supposed to come over and baby-sit, and I totally forgot and lost track of time at the comic shop. Ben and I are on our way now. You get dressed and when we get there you can meet him at Woody's."



"Oh, okay... well I guess I'll see you when you get here."



"We'll be there in a few." Michael hung up before Justin could respond. He looked at his husband with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry"



"That's okay; I guess we better go baby-sit."



Ben walked to the hall closet and grabbed his and Michael's coat. "Hunter, Michael and I are heading out for a while. You can reach us at Brian and Justin's if you need us."



Hunter walked into the living area drying his hand on a dish cloth, "Won't I need a babysitter."



"Goodnight smart ass and study for your exam." Michael said kissing his son goodbye on the cheek.



"Goodnight sport." Ben said as he ruffled Hunter hair. "And don't forget to put the leftovers away.

*~*~*~*~*

Ben and Michael walked into the loft through the upstairs entrance. They knew the children would be sleeping and didn't want to wake them by knocking on the downstairs door. All of Brian's family had the code to get into the building so they didn't have to worry about the buzzer waking them.



Justin opened the door dressed and ready to go. He kissed and hugged Michael and Ben hello.



"Are you sure he will still be at Woody's? I tried calling him but he's not answering his phone.



"He picked up the jeep today; he may have left the phone inside it. Besides, if he's not at Woody's he may have headed on to Babylon so you can try there."



"Okay then. The kids are asleep so I guess I'll see you later."



Justin left the loft and headed downstairs to his truck still slightly confused as to what was going on.



Chapter 4



Justin walked into Woody's a little out of breath; he didn't want to miss Brian. He still couldn't reach him by phone. He walked in and scanned the room quickly and saw no sign of Brian. He looked towards the end of the bar and was surprised to see Danny sitting there.



"You are the last person I would have expected to see sitting alone in Woody's" He said as he approached.



Danny glanced up surprised. "Hey Justin, well only Brian can get me into gay bar."



"Where is he?" Justin asked relieved that he hadn't missed him.



"He's hitting the head." Danny stood up and started shrugging on his jacket. "Could you tell him goodbye for me. I need to head home and get some sleep. Us laborers start pretty early in the morning."



"Will do" Justin said as he sat down in the seat Danny just vacated. 



"Oh, have fun at Babylon, and tell your husband he will never get me to go to that place. I'm way too hot and I would hate to have to break so many innocent hearts." Danny walked away before Justin could stop laughing long enough to reply.



Brian walked out of the men's room taking inventory of all the potential that was in the room. Now he just had to figure out away to send Danny on his way so that he could have some fun. Not that he wasn't enjoying Danny's company, he did invite him out for the drink in the first place he just had other ideas right now.



Brian glanced over to where he was sitting with Danny and stopped and stared when he saw Justin there. Now this was getting really weird. He glanced around and saw no sign of Danny and Justin sat there waiting as if he was supposed to be there. Brian contemplated walking out of the bar, Justin hadn't noticed him yet so he might be able to leave undetected, but he remembered his suit jacket and car keys were in the place he vacated at the bar.



Brian walked towards Justin who at that moment turned and spotted him. Brian raised his eyebrow questioningly and he noticed Justin smiling at him apologetically. 



"Sorry I'm late. Michael forgot to give me your message. I hope your plans aren't too screwed up."



Ah, Mikey, Brian thought to himself before saying aloud. "Leave it to Michael to fuck up a person's plans."



"Yeah he felt really bad about it."



"I'm sure he did."



"Well it's good that Danny was able to wait with you. He had to leave by the way. Oh and he said he is never going to Babylon with you. You know Brian you're going to have to face facts that he is a breeder and there is nothing you can do about it."



"Oh well, he doesn't know what he's missing." Brian said with a shrug as he downed the last of his drink.



"Yeah, well." Justin said feeling a slight distance between. "So should we head over to Babylon? I feel the need to shake my ass."



"You don't want a drink?"



"I can get one there."



"Suit yourself" Brian paid his tab and stood up to put on his suit jacket.



Justin noticed Brian's tie was removed and he had unbuttoned the first two buttons of his dress shirt. Justin always loved this look on Brian. Not dressy but not too casual.



"Where's your coat?" Justin asked when he noticed Brian only had the suit jacket. He stood and zipped his up tighter. He didn't bother to remove it when he came in Woody's



"I left it in the jeep."



"Along with your cell phone I supposed."



Brian felt his pockets and realized he didn't have his phone on him. "I suppose so."



They walked outside of the bar. "Do you want to leave the jeep here and we go in the Durango, or vice versa.



"I guess it doesn't matter."



"Then let's take the Durango. If it's not too late we can get the Jeep tonight or I can remove bring you by here in the morning."



Brian just nodded and walked in the direction of the Red Durango.



Justin followed feeling the distance between them growing wider. Was Brian being this way because he was late or because he showed up, Justin wondered as he opened the driver's side and climbed into the truck. 

*~*~*~*~*

They didn't have to wait in the long line to get into Babylon. Not that Brian ever had to wait before, but it was even better. Justin parked his truck in a reserved spot beside the building and he and Brian got out and walked right through he front door bypassing the pay window. They walked over to the bar and leaned up against it surveying the crowd. For a Monday night it wasn't bad.



Brian turned to the bartender to order a drink, but before he could open his mouth two drinks were placed in front of him and Justin.



"Anything else I can get for you Brian?" He asked.



"No this is fine for now." Brian looked at the bartender and recognized him as one of his past tricks, but for the life of him he could not remember his name.



"Thanks Steve." Justin said as he picked up his drink and took a large swallow



Steve that's it; Brian smiled to himself as he took a swallow of his drink as well. He wondered how many more of his past tricks were now employed by him.



"The music is great! I'm going to dance. Care to join me?"



"No you go ahead; I'm just going to watch for a while."



Just didn't know if he meant to watch him or watch the crowd. He finished off his drink and shrugged out of his jacket "Steve can you toss this behind the bar for me?" He asked as he handed the jacket to the bartender. 



Justin walked towards the dance floor and just let the music wash over him. It felt good to dance, he and Brian didn't get out as much as they used too, and it had been at least 3 weeks since they'd last been dancing.



Brian leaned back and looked over the crowd. He was trying to check out the potential but his eyes were constantly being drawn back to a particular blond who was swaying his hips and just enjoying the music.



Brian didn't take in Justin's appearance at Woody’s; he was just so surprised to see him there. He couldn't help but take it in now. Brian noticed he was wearing a rather enticing pair of fitted jeans and a very sexy black shirt. The shirt looked rather familiar and Brian thought for a second that maybe he was beginning to remember things about Justin but then it dawned on him that was his shirt. Brian had to admit at least to himself and not out loud the shirt looked even sexier on Justin. 



Justin had his eyes closed while he danced; Brian liked the way he effortless kept up with the rhythm of the music. He was definitely a good dancer. 



Brian couldn't help but wonder what Justin was thinking about as he lost himself in the music. He felt himself drawn to Justin him. Brian swallowed the last of his drink and walked over to join Justin on the dance floor.



Justin just wanted to feel the beat of the music. He knew the other men were watching him and he could feel them groping him trying to dance closer. He just danced away letting them know he was not interested. Justin was beginning to really enjoy himself when he felt a pair of arms slink around his waist. He didn't have to open his eyes to know it was Brian. Justin leaned back into Brian's arms. Brian quickly caught on to Justin's rhythm and they swayed seductively to the music.



The moment Brian wrapped his arms around Justin waist, his hands began explore Justin's body. Brian liked the way Justin leaned into his embrace as if he knew it was him. He began kissing Justin's neck and he noticed Justin never opened his eyes as he began to moan softly. He wanted to know what Justin was thinking; he wanted Justin to know it was him who had his arms around his waist



"You look good wearing my shirt." Brian said his lips close to Justin's ear. 



"You say that every time I wear this shirt." Justin said as he turned around in Brian's embrace.



"You always dance with your eyes close?" Brian said it as a question, but Justin took it as a statement.



"You know I love to feel the music."



"What does it feel like?"



"Kind of erotic, especially when you come and wrap your arms around me" Justin hands caressed Brian's body as he spoke. He looked up at Brian his blue eyes filled with love and desire. "This was great idea; we haven't been out dancing in so long." 



Justin laid his head on Brian's shoulder and started kissing him softly on his neck. He heard Brian's soft intake of breath and he continued to kiss him along his jaw line inching closer to his lips. Brian lowered his head to give Justin full access. Soon they were kissing passionately in the middle of the dance floor oblivious to the many eyes that watched them.



Justin was the first to break away for air. "You know what else we haven't done in a long while." Justin whispered as he tried to catch his breath?"



"What's that?"



Justin looked at Brian seductively as he backed out of his embrace. He took his hand and led him toward the catwalk stairs. Brian wasn't sure what Justin was up to; he thought for a moment that they were going to the backroom until Justin started up the stairs. He led Brian across the catwalk to a door that Brian didn't remember ever being there before. Justin opened the door and walked in with Brian in tow. 



The room was indeed a back room but a much smaller, much cleaner version of it. There were a few guys already there. Some were engaged in oral sex while others were involved in threesomes. This was like a VIP backroom. Before Brian realized it Justin had him up against the wall, his pants at his ankles and his bulging cock in his mouth. As soon as Justin lips touched him, thinking was no longer an option.

*~*~*~*~*

Justin could not stop the huge grin that spreading across his face as he walked to the car. His mood was very contagious because Brian found himself smiling as well.



"Do I make you that happy?" Brian asked before he could stop himself



He and Justin had just reached the car and Justin was leaned up against the driver side door.



"Happier." He said as he stood on his tiptoes to kiss Brian on the cheek. "So do you want to go get the jeep tonight or go straight home."



"Straight home" Brian said without hesitation



"Good" Justin reached into his jacket pocket and tossed Brian the keys to the Durango "You drive" he said as he ran around to the passenger side door. "Hurry up and open the door I'm freezing." 



It was indeed cold out but Brian didn't feel it until Justin mentioned it. This was odd being that he was only wearing a dress shirt. He didn't bother to put his suit jacket back on after leaving Babylon. 



Brian opened the driver door and clicked the lock to open the passenger side before he climbed in. Justin turned the heater on to full blast as soon as Brian started the truck. He leaned back against the seat waiting for the heat to kick in.



"Put on your seat belt." He said to Brian without glancing over.



Brian used one hand to pull the seat belt over as far as he could, but before he could switch hands to latch it Justin had already leaned over to grab hold of the belt latch to hook it in place for him.



"Thank you" Brian mumbled as he focused on the road.



"You're welcome." Justin placed his hand on Brian's knee and turned sideways in his seat to watch him as he drove. "Thank you for tonight, I had great time."



"Fucking in the backroom?"



"Well that was a treat but I prefer fucking at home where I can be totally uninhibited with you."



"More unhibited than that!"



"Baby, you know as well as I do that what we did tonight was child's play compared to some of our wild nights AND days at home. Must I break out the toy chest when we get home and remind you? "Justin said as he gently stroked Brian's thigh.



Brian shifted uncomfortably as he felt his hard-on returning for what had to be at least the 4th time tonight. He has never been this easily aroused by anyone in his life. 



Justin smirked as he noticed Brian's discomfort. He loved the effect he had on this man and Brian's effect on him was equally as strong if not stronger.



"Baby" Justin said softly



Brian turned his head and raised his eyebrow at the endearment Justin used much too frequently for Brian's liking.



"Okay, okay...Brian."



"Yes."



"We have to go and get the Christmas tree tomorrow."



"What!"



"The tree, the kids will want to decorate the tree before they head over to Daphne's for the weekend. We were supposed to get it on Saturday, but...well you know. I figured we can cut out of work early and pick it and trim it tomorrow evening."



"Um...okay." Brian said for now, but he would have to think of a way to get out of it tomorrow.



Brian pulled the jeep up to the front of the loft. By the time he got out Justin was already on the top step punching in the code to enter the building. "Hurry up its cold."



Brian found himself running up the steps into the building. Without saying a word he and Justin sprinted up the stairs to the to the top floor entrance. Justin beat Brian to the door by a second, both men were laughing as Justin slid the front door open. "No fair you cheated."



"I did not! "Just face it old man, I'm younger and faster." Justin said as he walked " Ouch" he screamed when he felt Brian's hand make contact with his rear end.



"Shush you guys, you're going to wake the kids." Michael said as he lifted his head up from sofa he and Ben were laying on, it was apparent that they had both dozed off.



Michael stood up and Ben followed him. Both men stretched as they tried to wake themselves up for the drive home. "You two look like you had a good time" Ben said in between yawns.



"Yeah we had a great time," Justin answered for the both of them.



"So I guess I didn't ruin your night?" Michael said casting a quick glance at Brian to see if he caught his double meaning.



"No you didn't Mikey; Justin arrived at the perfect time." Brian said letting his friend off the hook. He knew Mikey felt he was only trying to help.



"Luckily Danny was there to keep him company."



"I'm glad. Well it's late and Ben and I need to head home."



The men said their goodbyes and Ben and Michael headed home.



Justin walked toward the staircase leading to the lower level. "I'm going to go check on the kids."



"I'll go with you." 



Justin turned and smiled at Brian, and Brian could swear on his life he had never seen anything more beautiful. They checked on their children who were sleeping peacefully before returning back to their own bedroom where Justin held true to his threat of showing Brian just how uninhibited they could be in the privacy of their own home.

*~*~*~*~*

Justin forced himself awake when the alarm went off. He reached over Brian to turn it off. "Oh man, now I see why we don't go out on the weekdays too often anymore."



"I feel fine" Brian gloated as he sat up and stretched.



"Oh really, well then you go get the kids up while I catch a few extra minutes of sleep." Justin turned over and placed his pillow over his head before Brian could protest.



"Fine!" He said as he threw the covers off and grabbed his bathrobe before heading downstairs.



Brian walked into Gus' room first. He'd had experience with waking Gus in the mornings. He walked over to the bed and rubbed him on his back whispering his name until he began to stir. "Gus wake up, it's time for school."



"Hey pop." Gus said sleepily "I'm up."



"Okay go brush your teeth and get dressed. I'll go wake your sister."



"Okay pop." Gus slowly walked toward the bathroom with his eyes half closed.



Brian walked into Marnie's room next. "Marnie,...Marnie wake up time for school."



Marnie opened one eye and looked at her father "Where's Daddy?" 



"He'll be down later"



"Okay." She whispered before closing her eyes and falling back to sleep.



Brian couldn't help but chuckle, he was surprised she fell back to sleep just that quickly. He smiled as he took in how cute she looked laying there with her mouth wide open. "Marnie, sweetie you have to wake up. Geezez did I just say sweetie. Brian Kinney what is happening to you."



"Huh." Came a sleepy reply



"Marnie, poppie is just talking to himself." He said as he looked at her sleepy face. "I would really like it if you woke up now."



Marnie opened both eyes this time, but she didn't move. Brian got the impression she needed a little prodding. He helped her out of bed and walked with her to the bathroom. "Brush your teeth and wash your face, you have to get ready for school."



"Okay." Marnie said but she made no attempt to let go of Brian's hand.



"I have to help her with her toothbrush." Gus said after he finished rinsing his mouth. He took out Marnie's tooth brush and put toothpaste on before handing it to her. She woke instantly and began brushing her teeth. Brian felt an odd sense of pride watching the children, he could see that Marnie was in good hands so he headed up stairs to get himself ready for work. 



He could hear the shower running before he reached the bedroom. He took off his robe and tossed it on the bed before heading to the bathroom. Brian opened the shower stall door and walked. "Geezez this is ice cold." He shrieked as he shied away from the water spray.



"I know I needed it to wake up." Justin stood under the icy spray to rinse the soap from his body. He turned the hot water faucet on and opened the door and stepped out. "It's all yours."



Brian didn't move until he felt the heat coming from the water as it warmed up. Brian lathered himself up and stood under the spray to rinse off. He stepped out of the shower and toweled himself dry as he walked in the bedroom. Justin was no where to found, Brian guessed he was downstairs helping the kids.



Once the kids were fed and lunches were prepared everyone headed downstairs to Justin's truck. The morning routine was the same as remove previous mornings except after the kids were dropped off Justin drove to Woody's so Brian could pick up the jeep.



"Why don't you go start it and then you can wait in the truck with me while it warms up.



Brian nodded. He walked over to the jeep and started the engine and retrieved his cell phone and coat he'd left in it the previous night before heading back to the truck.



"I forgot you left your coat in the jeep, I can take that one home when I leave Kinnetic today. Okay I mapped out the game plan for today."



"Game plan? For what?"



"Did you forget we are picking up the tree today."



"Oh right...that."



"You are not getting out of it." Justin held up his hand to silence any protest Brian might have. "The game plan is I'm leaving at noon as usual but I'm only stopping at the gallery for a quick second. I'm going to head home and take out the decorations before getting the kids. Meet me at the house no later than 4:30 okay?"



"Okay?" Justin repeated when Brian didn't respond."



"Alright I think the jeep is warm now." Brian opened the door to get out.



"Don't I get a kiss good bye?"



"Aren't I going to see you in a few minutes?"



"So."



Brian smiled and leaned in to press his lips against Justin's. Brian walked over to the jeep and got in. He realized he still had the smile on his face. He couldn't think back to a time when he had ever smiled so much. If this is what family life is about it's not so bad.

*~*~*~*~*

Brian opened the door to the loft at exactly 4:45



"I said 4:30." Justin said as he walked into the loft.



Brian glanced at the clock on the wall. "Close enough."



"The kids are having a quick snack before we go. Do you want something?"



"No I'm fine. I do want to change though."



"Okay, I'll get their coats and things on and meet you down here in a few minutes."



Brian ran upstairs and dropped off his briefcase. He quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a sweater; he grabbed his black leather jacket from the closet before heading back downstairs. True to his word Justin had the kids bundled up and ready to go.



They strapped the kids into the back seat of the truck and Brian automatically got in on the driver side. Justin had already hopped into the front passenger seat and was holding the keys out to Brian.



"Which lot do you want to go to? Brian asked as he took the keys from Justin and started the engine



"The one on Sanborn St. near the gallery. They look like they have excellent trees."



"Okay" Brian grateful that he knew where Sanborn Street was located. He only assumed that the gallery Justin spoke of was the one he was leaving Kinnetic to go to everyday at 12:00.



They drove for less than twenty minutes when Brian noticed the lot at the end of the street. He stopped at the red light when he noticed Justin looking at him oddly.



"What?"



"Nothing...it's just you didn't say it."



"Say what?" Brian asked puzzled



Justin shrugged. "It's just the first time we have driven past the gallery and you didn't point out to the kids 'There's Daddy's Gallery'."



"Oh. I guess I was preoccupied I didn't notice. I'll point it out on the way back."



"Geeze Brian I don't expect you to do it, I just noticed you didn't do it."



Brian started the car moving again towards the tree lot. "Well I won't forget again."



"Whatever. Anyways speaking of the gallery, you do remember next week is the annual local talent showcase. Brian, there is some amazing talent here in Pittsburgh, you are going to be blown away when you see it."



"Well I've seen your work, I doubt that anything they have to offer can even compare."



"Thank you Brian. I love that you are my biggest fan."



Once Brian pulled into the parking lot the kids came alive with excitement and all adult discussion ceased. It took almost a half hour of walking around the lot before all four of them could decide on a tree. They finally settled on a 7ft spruce.



"This will look great in the family room." Justin said excitedly as he and Brian help the attendant tie it to the top of the car.



Brian couldn't help but get caught up in the excitement of Justin and the kids. He was actually anxious to get home and decorate the tree. On the drive home they turned the radio on and were singing along to some of the holiday songs playing.



Brian couldn't remember the last time he was ever excited about the holidays. The only time he could think of was so long ago that it felt like another lifetime. Brian glanced over at the passenger seat where Justin was turned backwards facing the kids as they laughed and sang along to the silly songs on the radio. Yeah, that was definitely another lifetime in his other life where his family didn't exist.

*~*~*~*~*

Brian and Justin made a comical pair trying to take the 7 ft tree off the top of the truck and into the building. They helped the kids out of the truck first and deposited them safely in the hallway of the building to wait for them. Marnie and Gus got a kick out of their fathers' antics as they struggled with the tree.



Eventually they got it into the elevator. Justin pointed out the tree would look best in the far left corner opposite the comfy huge couch, and Brian, Marnie and Gus agreed.



Marnie and Gus took off their jackets and hung them up while Brian and Justin prepared the tree and set it up in the tree stand. 



"Hey you two, are you ready to decorate it?" Justin asked after he Brian made sure it was safe and secure in the tree stand.



"Yes!" They screamed in unison.



"Okay I'll order the pizzas. Brian you put the music on and kids you two start unwrapping the ornaments. Be careful some of them can break easily."



"Yes Daddy." Marnie said as she sat next to the box of ornaments with Gus.



"Pizza" Brian said looking at Justin disapprovingly 



"I'm ordering your salad with grilled chicken." Justin said rolling his eyes playfully. "Don't know why though, you know you're going to eat the pizza anyway."



"I will not."



"Yeah, you say that every time."



Brian snorted as he walked over to the CD player. He flipped though the CD collection for the holiday music. He wasn't sure what to play, he settled on a CD with all the standard holiday tunes. It had some of the songs that were playing in the car so he felt it would be a good choice.



Brian waited until Justin was off the phone before turning the music up. "Pop, that's the wrong song" Gus said when he heard the music.



"Brian, what are you doing breaking the Taylor-Kinney tradition." Justin said as he walked over to the CD player and changed the music. Brian laughed out loud when he heard the new melody.



"The Taylor-Kinney traditions are not very traditional are they?"



"Baby, look around, there's nothing traditional about us."



"I know, but who listens to Van Morrison when trimming their Christmas tree."



"We do. Almost every Christmas song has a bad memory associated to it from when you were younger. The one good memory was when you visited your grandparents in Arizona and your uncle took you and your sister to that free concert of Van Morrison. How old were again?"



"I was 10." Brian said quietly he never told anyone about that. It was one of the few good memories of his childhood and he wanted to keep it to himself.



"That's right, and he bought you the Moon Dance album because it was your favorite song from the concert. You played it so much you wore it out. You told me you had to replace it with the cassette tape when you were in high school."



"Yeah I did. I still have it."



"Yeah, I know." Justin moved closer. One of my fondest memories will always be dancing here at the loft after the wedding to "Crazy Love."



"Come on you guys we have to get the tree decorated."



"Yeah, come on." Marnie chimed in after her brother.



"We're coming geesh." Justin said as he reluctantly stepped away from Brian. He walked over and turned the radio up as the beginning notes of "Moon Dance" began to play.



Several hours later the children were tucked in bed and Brian and Justin busied themselves cleaning up the empty pizza boxes and restoring order to the family room. 



"I think we're done." Justin announced for no particular reason.



"I think you're right." Brian said as he surveyed the area. "I'll unplug the tree.



"No leave it on, let's just sit down here for a while." Justin was already backing up to the couch that faced the tree. "The lights are so beautiful. We did a great job didn't we?'



"Yeah we did." Brian agreed as he watched the twinkling lights glow and reflect against the shiny ornaments.



Brian walked over and joined Justin on the couch. He sat on the end and Justin immediately stretched out and rested his head in Brian's lap.



Brian began stroking Justin hair as if it was the most natural thing to do, he felt oddly at peace. This was definitely going to be one of his best Christmas memories. He used to help his mother decorate the tree when he was younger, but all he could remember was her yelling at him that he wasn't doing it right and punishing him if he accidentally broke an ornament.



Justin felt Brian's hand still and he looked up and noticed the serious expression on Brian's face. "What's wrong?"



"Nothing" Brian said as he pushed those bad memories to the back of his mind. "We did do a great job with the tree; we have some very talented children."



"That we do." Justin continued to look at Brian. He always enjoyed when they shared quiet moments like these. "Tell me" Justin whispered as he stared up at Brian.



"Hmmm." Brian said 



"Tell me" 



"Tell you what?" Brian replied thoroughly confused



"Every time you act like you have no clue what I'm talking about. Tell me when you realized you loved me."



"Oh." Brian was at a loss for words because he could remember nothing of their supposed life together. He did have a feeling that this was something they did on a regular basis and he wanted to hear the answer himself. "Why don't you tell me?"



"I asked you first. You tell me and then I'll tell you"



"No, I mean why don't you tell me when I fell in love with you. I'm certain you know what I'm going to say word for word."



Justin laughed at Brian's remark. "Um okay...let's see." Justin cleared his throat and made a show of trying to capture the Brian Kinney persona "I know the night of the bombing was when I said the words I love you, but we both know I loved you long before then. The day I believe it happened was a few months after we met, when I showed up at your prom."



Brian tried hard to keep his face neutral as he listened to Justin speak. This was supposed to be information he already knew.



"When I walked into that hall and I saw you standing there looking like a golden angel in your tux."



"I seriously doubt I used the term "golden angel."



"Hey, you had your chance to tell this story. Okay maybe you didn't say "golden angel"



"I thought not. Please continue."



"Where was I...oh right. When I saw you standing there looking very handsome in your tux and then you took my hand and we walked to the middle of the dance floor. I knew right then and there I loved you. But of course I didn't admit to myself that it was love I felt until years later.



"So that's when I fell in love with you huh."



"Yup, at least that's what you tell me. Daphne said that was the night she knew you loved me also. She said the expression on your face and the way you held me and kissed me while we danced was the most romantic and beautiful sight she had ever seen." Justin sat up and pulled himself into a sitting position in Brian's lap so he was now face to face with him. "I would give anything to remember that night. Damn that fucking Hobbes for taking that away from me."



Brian noticed Justin instantly getting agitated and clenching his fists. He didn't understand Justin's last statement but he knew it was related to something very upsetting. "Hey it's okay." He said as he pulled Justin into an embrace to calm him down "Don't think about Hobbes."



"I know...you're right, but sometimes it's so hard. But I have to remember that the best revenge is living well and I seriously doubt that he is as happy and as loved as I am."



Brian held on to Justin and caressed his back. Before long he could feel Justin breathing steady and he knew he was falling asleep. The late night and long day was finally catching up to him. "Justin let's go upstairs. He whispered into his ear. 



"Okay," Justin stood up and yawned. He waited by the sofa while Brian unplugged the tree and made sure the downstairs was locked up tight. He took Justin by the hand and led him upstairs to their bedroom. Brian helped Justin undress and put him to bed. He stripped himself and climbed in next to Justin. Justin was asleep in minutes.



Brian laid awake for awhile remembering what Justin told him. He needed to find out more about his life with Justin, he needed to know about the prom, and the bombing. He needed to know who Hobbes was and how he hurt Justin. Most importantly he needed to know how he could hold on to this new life and this family he now had.



Brian got of bed and walked to the other room to use the phone.



"Hello" a groggy voice answered on the 3rd ring



"It's about time you answered."



"Brian is everything okay?" Michael answered, instantly awake once he realized it was Brian.



"Yes, Mikey everything is fine. I just need to see you tomorrow. I'll meet you at your house around 1:00.



"Um...shit Hunter has classes tomorrow... I'll just close the shop. See you tomorrow." With all that Brian was dealing with he wanted to be available for him.



Brian hung up and thought about calling Lindsay next. He knew if he got Mel she would have 50 thousand questions for him. He decided to wait and call her in the morning from the office. Brian climbed back into bed. He placed a protective arm around Justin's sleeping form and drifted off to sleep. Hopefully tomorrow Michael and Lindsay can help him answer some of the questions floating around in his head.



Chapter 5 



Brian woke early the following morning. He wanted to get to the office and do some research on line before he met with Michael. He still had the information he found on amnesia but that wasn't helping him. He still didn't believe he was suffering from amnesia. His memories were too vivid; in his mind up until 5 days ago Justin never existed to him.



Brian slipped out of bed without waking Justin. He had so much on his mind he felt it was best this way. Brian showered and dressed, he glanced at Justin's sleeping form before heading downstairs. Brian peeked in on the kids, who were sleeping soundly, before exiting the downstairs door. Brian reached Kinnetik at a quarter to seven. It was obvious he was the first one there. It never crossed his mind the place would be locked.



"Great Kinney, now what's your next brilliant move?" Brian stood outside the door and peeked in to see if there was a security guard or a maintenance worker. He didn't see anyone. He then remembered when he got his keys back after the accident there were a couple of keys on the ring he had no idea what they belonged to. Brian reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his house keys. He separated the two unfamiliar keys and tried one in the lock of the front door. The first key didn't work.



"Damn I hope this one works." He said as he tried the second key. Brian offered a silent thank you as he felt the lock turning in the door. He opened the door and noticed for the first time the security code pad. He never noticed it before because it was never flashing red and green lights before now. 



Brian punched in the code he used on the security system at the loft. It was also the same code he used at Kinney Advertising. He was right, as soon as he punched in the code the flashing stopped. He headed straight to his office and booted up his PC; he wanted to do some research before others arrived and especially before Justin got to the office.



As soon as the computer booted up Brian sat in front of it, unsure of where to begin. He didn't bother to look up anything else on amnesia or selective amnesia. It would be pointless because he knew that wasn't his problem.



"What the hell." He said to himself with smirk as he typed in the address for a popular search engine into his Web browser. "I can't believe I'm sitting here Googling myself." He said as he typed his name in the search engine toolbar.



Brain watched as information appeared on the screen in front of him. A lot of it he could see was useless, but still he could see key words with his name associated with them. He saw articles about his AME and Clio awards he won working with Ryder. He saw his name linked with Vanguard, the company that Cynthia mentioned and articles about Kinnetik. Brian scanned the articles and began printing off articles that were directly related to him. Next he typed in Justin's name and just as he pressed search his office phone rang.



Brian jumped at the intrusion, the office was still quiet and the slightest sound became 3 times louder than usual. He glanced at the caller ID and saw it was the loft number, he snatched up the receiver before the second ring. "Hello"



"So you are there." 



"Yeah, I needed to get in early."



"Well I wished you had woken me."



"You were tired, so I figured I'd let you sleep."



"Well, thanks...I guess. It just sucks because I won't see you until later tonight."



"You can stop by my office when you get here." Brian answered. He browsed through all of the information that came up with the name Justin Taylor. He came across an article about local artists giving back to the community and one about what Brian believed to be the gallery Justin works for.



"I told you we are doing a show for up and coming Pittsburgh artists so I will actually be at the gallery all day today and tomorrow."



"Oh, well you're right, I won't see you until tonight."



"Well gee don't sound so bummed out about." Justin answered sensing that Brian was preoccupied. "Anyway I need you to pick up the kids today from school."



"Okay." He was only half listening at this point. His attention was focused on the computer as he clicked on an article with the key words "Justin Taylor" "teen" "gay bashing"."



"Brian are you listening."



"Yeah...I'll pick up the kids."



"Don't forget. Marnie first she gets out at 3:30 today and Gus has practice until 4:00."



"Okay, Marnie 3:30 and Gus at 4:00" The link Brian pressed took him to the website for the Pittsburgh Daily archives. He opened the article about Justin and was stunned by the headline. "Gay Bashed Teen Listed in Critical Condition."



"Well I have to go and finish getting the kids ready. See you tonight. I love you."



"Um me too" Brian said absently as his attention was totally on the screen at this moment. He was already pulling the receiver from his ear when he heard Justin saying goodbye.



Brian scanned the newspaper archives and found other articles about the attack. The last article printed showed a picture of a very young Justin leaving the hospital with a woman that had to be his mother. 



Brian stared at the pictures of the young frightened teen. He touched the screen as if to comfort him somehow. He printed off all of the articles he could find about the bashing and any other article pertaining to Justin from that point until now. His last search was for the bombing of Babylon. He was in the middle of printing off those articles when Cynthia barged into his office.



"Now this is the Brian I know. The first one in the office already hard at work."



Brian glanced up at Cynthia annoyed by the intrusion.



"What are you working on so intensely"



"Nothing. Listen, rearrange my schedule for today. I don't want to be disturbed and I'll be leaving the office at 12:00."



"Brian, what is going on with you? You have not been yourself all week. What am I supposed to tell your clients this time? Some of your appointments are rescheduled appointments from when you took off on Monday."



"I don't care what you tell them, just handle it."



"Fine, you're the boss. So is Justin included in the do not disturb list." Cynthia said showing her annoyance.



"Justin is out of the office today and tomorrow preparing for a show at the gallery. Now go I'm busy." Brian turned his attentions from Cynthia and back to his computer screen.



Cynthia stalked out of the office. As soon as she left Brian picked up the phone and called Michael on his cell.



"Hey, I was just thinking about you. Did something happen last night? Did you remember anything?"



"No, but I want to. I have to meet you at noon instead of one. I have to get the kids from school and I want to give us as much time as possible."



"Brian I can't close the shop all afternoon."



"You can't get Hunter or someone to cover?"



"Hunter has classes."



"What about Emmett, he makes his own hours; he can plan a party from the comic book shop. Mikey I need your help." 



Michael knew Brian rarely asked for help so he needed to be there for him. "Okay, I'll call Emmett. You know he's going to ask me a ton of questions."



"Don't tell him anything." Brian warned



"I won't but you know he is going to ask me questions."



"I know. I'll see you at noon"



Brian hung up and dialed another number.



"Hello"



Brian was relieved to hear Lindsay's voice "Hey, did I catch you at a bad time? 



"No, I'll be leaving in a few minutes. I'm headed over to the gallery to help Justin prepare for the show. I've been thinking about you. I wanted to call, but I didn't want you to think I was checking up on you."



"Since when do you not call and check up on me? You always want to know who I'm fucking and make sure I don't bring them around your son."



"Well I stopped checking up on you a long time ago when you came to your senses and Justin became the only one you were fucking and I love having him around OUR son."



"Well since you are such a fan you won't mind helping me."



"How's that?"



"I'm meeting Michael at noon at his place. I want to know about my life with Justin."



"So you still don't remember anything?"



"No."



"Brian, have you seen a doctor?"



"No. A doctor can't help me. This is not amnesia or psychological. I have a whole different life in my head. I don't know why and I can't explain it, but this is not amnesia."



"Okay...okay. How can I help?" 



"Meet me at Michael's today before 3:00. I have to pick Marnie and Gus up today so I only have time between noon and 3:00."



"Alright I'll tell Justin I have an appointment. I better go if I'm going to cut out early. I'll see you later."



"Thanks Linz."



"Anytime Brian."



Brian stacked the printouts in front of him on his desk and began reading them one by one. He started off with the information he found about Justin first. He read all the articles about the bashing and was even able to find a picture of Chris Hobbes. Brian has never felt so much anger for a person he had never met. He was even angrier when he read that Hobbes only got probation for what he did.



Brian wondered if Justin was alone when this happened. The article didn't really say exactly what happened except there was a witness to the attack. From the attack the other articles talked about the Rage comic book Justin and Michael created. There was a web address where subscriptions could be ordered. Out of curiosity Brian looked it up. He was very impressed. The Rage character looked very familiar to Brian; if he was the narcissistic type, he would swear this character was based on him.



Next few articles talked about the possibility of Rage becoming a movie. The later articles talked about Justin's art career and how he was an up and coming Pittsburgh talent and then finally the opening of the "Tailored Palette" art gallery. It never occurred to Brian that Justin owned the gallery he worked at and from the article it was one of the best galleries in all of Pennsylvania.



Brian put aside the articles on Justin and read up on himself and Kinnetik. From what he was reading he and Justin were doing very well for themselves, they were a real power couple of Pittsburgh. Brian felt pride over what he and Justin had accomplished even though he couldn't remember any of it. He made notes of questions he had for Michael and Lindsay on some of the print outs.



The last articles were about the bombing of Babylon. Radical actions by an anti gay rights movement. No one was ever caught or prosecuted. There were a few lives lost. Brian recognized the names, as familiar strangers. The only person he knew personally was Dusty Morgan; he knew she was a friend of Lindsay and Mel's.



Brian glanced at the clock and saw it was almost noon. The morning went by much too quickly. He gathered up the printouts and readied himself to head over to Michael's.



Brian pulled up to the house Michael bought with Ben. He was just here less than two weeks ago for dinner. He tried to humor Michael with his happy family life style. Since he met Ben and they adopted Hunter, Michael turned into a domestic family man. That was a lifestyle Brian would never see himself living. He vowed to be a fuck them and dump them bachelor for as long as his looks and dick would hold out. Things were going according to plan until he woke up Saturday afternoon a family man. The strangest part of this whole situation for Brian at this moment was that he didn't mind being a family man.



Brian walked up to the front door and walked right in. He hardly ever knocked when he came here; being that Michael was expecting him he knew the front door would be open. Michael was in the kitchen placing a plate of sandwiches on the kitchen table.



"Perfect timing, I figured we could have a light lunch while we talk."



"Sounds good, Lindsay should be here any minute; she called my cell to say she was on her way." Brian sat at the table and tossed the folder of the printouts on to it. "Did you have any trouble with Emmett?"



"No I just told him I want to go Christmas shopping for Ben and get him something fabulous." Michael picked the folder of printouts up from the table "What this?" 



"My life...Justin's life....things I know nothing about."



Michael thumbed thought the first few pages. He cut his eyes toward Brian. "You Googled yourself?" 



"Yes I did, I would have never thought to do it if I hadn't remembered you did it before."



"It triggered nothing for you."



"Well, yeah. I found articles connected to the advertising trade, about awards I've won for campaign ads. And old sports articles from my soccer days in college, but this stuff about Vanguard, Stockwell and Kinnetik is all new to me." Brian grabbed one of the sandwiches from the plate and bit into it. He leaned back in his chair and looked up at Michael. "So how did I meet him?"



Michael sat in the chair next to Brian." Well it was the night Gus was born."



"I know that much, Lindsay told me. I remember you, me, Ted and Emmett going to Babylon that night. I dropped you off and I went to the baths. Melanie reached me later that night to tell me Lindsay had the baby. I picked you up and we went to the hospital." Brian looked at the half eaten sandwich and tossed it back onto the plate. "There was no Justin in the picture."



"Okay, you are remembering it half right. You and I, Emmett and Ted were at Babylon. You met Justin there."



"I thought he was only 17, how did he get into Babylon?" 



"Yes, he was 17, and when has that stopped anyone from getting into Babylon. Now let me finish the story. You actually met outside of Babylon. We were leaving and heading towards the jeep. Justin was outside leaning up against the lamppost out front. You noticed him straight off and walked towards him. You asked him where he was headed, he said no place special and you said you could change that."



"That was smooth."



"Yeah, whatever, anyway you took off with him and left me stranded with Ted and Emmett."



"Didn't Ted drive that night too?"



"You know what I mean. We rode together and you left me and went off with Justin."



"So I took him to my place?"



"Yeah and then about a half hour later you called me to say that Mel called and they were at the hospital. You came to get me and Justin was with you."



"So we get to the hospital and this kid I just met names my son."



"Pretty much. And when we left the hospital I dropped the two of you back off at the loft and went home."



"He stayed with me all night?" Brian was surprised by this because he rarely let his tricks spend the night.



"Yeah, and I picked you up the next morning. It was apparent you two thoroughly enjoyed each other. I rode with you to drop him at school."



"High school?"



Michael nodded his head "High school."



"So, I started dating a high school kid?"



"Not exactly, he sort of became your stalker and everyone, my mother included, sort of fell in love with him."



"I get the feeling you didn't care for him much."



"In the beginning no, I didn't. It was more from envy than because of him. It was obvious you felt different about him than your other tricks. For one you slept with him more than once, and you rarely gave details. And two, you let him move into the loft with you when his father kicked him out."



At Brian surprised look Michael continued to fill Brian in on how Justin's father had attacked him twice and how Justin came to live at the Novotny's in Michael's old room.



"Tell me about his prom and how I ended up there. And who is Chris Hobbes?"



"Chris was the class bully who was always picking on Justin." In the midst of Michael telling the story they heard the front door open and close and Lindsay rushed towards the kitchen. 



She greeted Michael and Brian with a kiss. "Sorry I'm late."



"Michael was just filling me in on prom night and Chris Hobbes."



"Oh, how far did you get?" Lindsay asked as she sat next to Brian.



"Not far I was just telling him about Hobbes being the school bully."



"Yeah, he was mean to Justin throughout his senior year. It finally came to a head after the prom."



"Lindsay you tell him about the prom, you saw Justin before he left."



"Gosh that seems so long ago. He looked so handsome in his tux. So grown up, the only other time I'd ever seen him look more beautiful and more radiant was at your wedding. He left all smiles to go pick up Daphne for the prom."



"So I didn't take him to the prom."



"No, you surprised him and all of us when we found out you showed up there. Later from the stories we heard you two were the center of attention as you danced and held each other. It sounded so romantic."



"I don't do romance Lindsay, I'm sure it wasn't as you think it was."



"Daphne told me everything, and you even filled me on how 'ridiculously romantic' it was, your words not mine. Anyway afterwards Justin walked you to your car and on his way back upstairs Hobbes attacked him."



"Attacked him how?"



"He umm, hit in the head with a baseball bat."



"Sweet Jeezez."



"Brian if you were not there Hobbes might have killed him. You saved his life." 



"So that's why Justin can't remember the prom." Brian said to himself more than to the group in front of him.



"Yeah, he was in a coma for two weeks and rehab for a month afterward. He was in bad shape. No one could touch him because he was afraid of crowds and being around people....except you. You helped him so much."



"What did I do?"



"He moved back in with you and you helped him deal with his nightmares and to allow people to touch him and hold him again. You helped him cope with learning he was about to become a teen father and being the support he and Daphne needed when their parents were not very supportive."



"How?"



"By loving him, you may have never said the words to him but it was obvious to everyone around that you loved him and you still do."



Michael and Lindsay watched Brian as he took in all the information they were giving him. They continued to tell him about his relationship with Justin. The ups and downs, the breaks and the make-ups. They filled him in as best they could about Vanguard, Stockwell and how Kinnetik came to be. They told him about the bombing of Babylon, their wedding and how they decided they wanted more children and Mel and Justin would be the biological parents."



"It wasn't an easy road to get to where we are now was it?"



"No it wasn't." Lindsay answered, "and we are only given you the abridged version."



Brian glanced around Michael's kitchen looking for a clock. "What time is it?" He asked just as he noticed the clock near the back door. "Shit I have to go; I'm picking up the kids today."



Brian gathered up the folders he'd brought with him and stood to leave. Lindsay stood as well. "I'll walk out with you Brian. I have to head back to the gallery."



"Did any of this help you at all?" Michael asked as he started to clear the table 



"In terms of me remembering anything, no it hasn't. In terms of me having a better understanding of my relationship with Justin, it's helped a lot." Brian leaned over and kissed Michael on the lips. "I'll call you later."



"Okay. Oh can you tell Justin I'll have the copy ready for the next edition tomorrow and he can pick it up anytime."



"Will do" Brian left with Lindsay in tow. He walked with her to her car.



"So Brian, can I take this as good sign that even though you don't remember Justin you do want to be with him?"



Brian thought for a moment before answering. "I guess you can."



"Good." Lindsay hugged Brian goodbye and kissed him on the cheek.



Brian opened her door as she climbed into the car. "Brian I'll talk to you soon."



"Alright." 



Back in the house Michael continued to tidy the kitchen oblivious to the shadowed figure that sat at the top of the stairs. He grabbed his keys and coat and headed back to the comic shop to relieve Emmett.



Hunter made his way downstairs when he heard Michael leave. He had not intended to eaves drop. He was on his way down to let Michael know his afternoon class was canceled and he was home, but when he heard Brian's voice he wanted to know what the secret was surrounding him. It was not what he suspected.

*~*~*~*~*

"Okay who has homework?" Brian asked as he ushered the kids into the loft.



"I don't Poppy." 



"I only have math. Can you help me with it?" Gus asked as he placed his book bag on the table.



"I sure can. We can do that now and then we can order out for dinner. No pizza, we'll do Chinese food."



"I want chicken fingers." 



"I want fried rice and ribs."



"Marnie, chicken fingers and Gus rice and ribs. Got it!" Brian made imaginary check marks in the air as he spoke.



"Poppy I want fried rice too."



"And you shall have fried rice." Brian bent down and picked his petulant daughter up in his arms. "I will order the food as soon as Gus and I finish his homework. How about you go to your room and grab some coloring books and you can sit with us while we work."



"Okay." Marnie hurried off to her room as soon as Brian put her down. She was back in less than a minute.

*~*~*~*~*

Gus finished his homework in about a half hour. Brian only confirmed or denied his answers; Gus figured them all out on his own. Brian smiled at his son with pride; he was definitely a chip off the old block. 



"You two go wash up while I order the food, and we can watch a little TV while we wait."



"Okay pop, and don't forget the soupy stuff dad likes. Come on Marnie." Gus walked with his sister toward the bedroom and left Brian to wonder what soupy stuff Justin would like. He looked over the entire Chinese food menu and the only thing he could think of was chicken chow mien. He hoped that was right. He ordered a few of his favorites and couple of other items he thought Justin might like.



The food arrived quickly. Brian had hoped Justin would be home before then. He placed the food on the counter and as he started to set the table he had an idea.



"Guys why don't we turn on the tree and eat over there."



"On the floor?" Marnie asked as she looked at her father strangely.



"Yeah, on the floor. We'll make it a picnic."



"Yay, I like picnics."



"Good." Brian grabbed the throw from the sofa and spread it out in front of the tree. He turned the Christmas lights on before getting plates and utensils from the kitchen. He and kids sat around the blanket and he was just removing the food from the bag when the loft door slid open.



"What's all this?" Justin asked as he walked in and smiled at the sight in front of him.



"Perfect timing, we were just about to eat. Come grab some floor." 



Justin tossed his things on the counter and did as Brian asked. He greeted the children then greeted Brian with a kiss. "This is just what I needed, I had such a busy day and Lindsay had to take off for an appointment for a couple of hours." He reached over to help Brian remove the food from the bag then stopped. "Oops I forgot to wash my hands." Justin went to the kitchen and quickly washed his hands. He also grabbed juice from the fridge and brought it over with glasses for the 4 of them.

*~*~*~*~*

After dinner the kids were sent to their room to get ready for bed. Brian and Justin sat and surveyed the mess they had to clean, neither one ready to move yet.



"This was a really a nice surprise to come home to." Justin said as he leaned back against the sofa. "And you got all my favorite foods; the chow mien was really good."



"Glad you enjoyed it." Brian scooted over until he was seated next to Justin and he leaned back against the sofa as well. Justin rested his head against Brian's shoulder.



"I'm so full."



"Me too." 



"You ordered way too much food."



"We'll have leftovers."



"Brian, you hate leftovers."



"Yeah but you love them." Brian said not really sure if Justin loved them or not, but it seemed the right thing to say.



"Hmmm, so I do. Refried, refried rice is the best. *sigh* I guess we better clean this up before the kids come back. They want to watch the Chipmunk Christmas special coming on tonight." Justin forced himself to get up and start clearing away the dinner dishes. After a moment Brian joined him.



Once the mess was cleared up they settled on the couch with the kids to watch yet another Christmas cartoon. Brian swore he had never watched so much animation, let alone television in his life.



Chapter 6



Brian rode the elevator down with Justin and the kids. "Do you need me to pick them up again today" He asked before heading toward the jeep.



"No actually my mom is getting them today. She wants to take them to the toy store so they can show Santa what they want for Christmas."



"Oh, right."



"I told her I'd get them from her house on my way home this evening."



"Sounds good. Oh by the way, I spoke with Mikey yesterday and he said the copy for the next issue is ready."



"Excellent I'll stop by the shop to pick it up before I get the kids. I can look it over this weekend and start planning ideas for the illustrations.



"Alright see you later." Brian said goodbye to the kids and leaned in for a goodbye kiss from Justin before heading to the office.

*~*~*~*~*

Justin was almost to his mother's when he realized he forgot to stop by the comic book shop. He really wanted to look the copy over this weekend, and it would be much easier to run in without having the kids with him. As much as he hated to, he turned the truck around and headed in the direction the shop.



"Hey Hunter, is Michael around?" He asked as he entered the shop and only saw Hunter at the counter.



"No he was meeting Ben at school, some office party going on. He left a package for you; it's in the back I'll go get it." Hunter turned to leave but he glanced back twice before leaving the room to look at Justin. Unless it was his imagination Justin could swear he was looking at him with pity.



Hunter returned with the package for Justin. He still had that look of pity in his eyes when he looked at him. Normally Justin rarely paid the kid any mind, but there seemed to be something to the looks he was giving Justin. "What is it Hunter?"



"Huh? ...What is what?" Hunter said feigning confusion.



"Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something going on with Rage that I don't know about?"



"Well the problem is more of what is it that *Rage* doesn't remember than what you don't know. I guess he does have a weakness."



"What are you talking about?"



"Brian's memory loss. I'm surprised it doesn't bother you that he can remember everything except you. It would bother me if the person I'm sharing my life with wiped out every memory of me but can remember everyone and everything else."



"Where did you hear that?"



"Don't worry Michael didn't blab your secret to me, I over heard everything yesterday?"



"What did you over hear?" Justin asked trying to make sense out of what Hunter was telling him.



"Lindsay and Michael were telling him how he met you, and the prom bashing, how you guys broke up and got back together and about your wedding...shit like that. Why weren't you there? He had a lot questions about how he proposed and personal stuff that Michael and Lindsay couldn't answer."



Justin looked at Hunter not knowing what to say. "Um thanks for this." He said as he held up the package. "I have to go."



Hunter misread the look on Justin's face. "Don't worry I'm not going to say anything. Michael doesn't even know I know, and most definitely I won't say anything to Debbie."



"Um yeah right...thanks" Justin left the store and got into his truck. This didn't make any sense; Brian never let on he was having memory problems. Justin thought back to last Saturday at the hospital. Brian did seem a bit out of sorts, but who wouldn't after being in a car accident. Justin started his truck when his cell phone rang. He glanced at the caller ID and saw it was his mother. "Shit the kids." He flipped the phone open "Hi Mom."



"Hi, honey. What's wrong."



"Nothing" Justin said trying to sound cheerful



"Oh okay, well I just wanted to catch you before you came for the kids. We're making home made pizzas and I wanted to know if you and Brian wanted to join us for dinner."



"Um, I think we'll pass. Just call when you're ready and I'll come pick them up."



"I was kind of hoping they could stay over since tomorrow is Saturday."



"That's fine if they want to stay, I'll get them in the morning."



"Okay honey, well you go home and rest. You don't sound yourself."



"Okay mom."



"Love you, bye."



"Bye mom."



Justin drove home with his mind heavy in thought.



Justin walked into the loft unsure of how to handle this with Brian. Maybe Hunter was exaggerating, but even so, if Brian was experiencing even a slight memory loss why didn't he just tell him. Justin entered on the lower level. He could see the light glowing from upstairs where Brian was probably sitting at his desk. He took a moment to collect himself before walking upstairs.



"Hey, I didn't hear you come in."



"Well you must have been deep in thought." 



"Yeah I guess." Brian said as he put aside the mock ups he was looking over. "You did a great job on those boards."



"You sound surprised, you should be used to my work by now."



"Well, I guess your talent just constantly surprises me. Where are the kids?"



"My mom kidnapped them for the night." Justin walked over to the desk where Brian was sitting. Out of habit he leaned in to kiss him hello. "You know what I was thinking about, remember gay pride last year?"



Brian looked up at Justin, he remembered his version of gay pride but he has no idea what Justin could be remembering. "I remember Ted got wasted and Emmett ditched us after the parade."



"Yeah that's right and you and I made a night of it by club hopping."



Brian remembered club hopping, more like backroom hopping, but he remembered doing it alone.



"On the drive over I found myself thinking about a lot old times. I've also been thinking about the kids and their births. Remember when we got to the hospital when Gus was born and it was full of lesbians.



"Yeah and you saving my son from being named Abraham."



"Lucky for you I came along when I did. What about Marnie's birth, Daphne's parents were too much, huh?"



"Yeah" Brian said looking up at Justin and was suddenly aware that he knew. "Who told you?"



"It doesn't matter, you should have."



"I didn't want to upset you."



Justin eyed Brian suspiciously



"Okay, Lindsay and Michael did not want me to upset you. And being that they are the only two who knew what was going on I'm surprised one of them told you after all."



"It wasn't Lindsay or Michael and that's not the issue."



"What do you want me to say?"



Justin eyes showed his sadness, he couldn't hide it if he tried. "Nothing, there is nothing you can say. You don't remember anything about me and our life together? You remember Ted. You remember Hunter but nothing about me, the man you're supposed to love, or so I thought you loved. Fuck Brian, you even remembered your mechanic."



"That's not fair, I've known Danny for years he's not just my mechanic."



Justin stared at Brian as he spoke when a thought occurred to him. "The other night when Michael and Ben came over and I met you at Woody's you were not expecting me were you?"



"Justin..."



"Were you?" Justin demanded



"No."



"You were planning to pick up a trick! I knew something didn't feel right when I arrived." Justin looked at Brian who was still sitting behind his desk. "So have you?"



"Have I what?"



"Tricked."



"No, I have not been with a trick since I woke up with a husband Saturday afternoon in the hospital."



"But in your mind you were this carefree bachelor with no children."



"No, I have a son."



"Oh that's right, Marnie doesn't exist."



"Justin I saw you for the first time..."



"In the hospital, yeah I get it Brian."



"That's not what I was going to say. I saw you for the first time at the restaurant where I was meeting my client for lunch. You were there with Marnie and a woman joined you. Marnie referred to her as mommy. I assumed she was your wife even though I was getting a major gay vibe from you. I watched as the three of you talked in the parking lot after lunch and you drove off in your truck." Brian chuckled to himself



"I don't find any of this funny Brian."



"No it's not, I was thinking how watching you walk to your truck gave me such a hard on, I was on my way to visit the baths when I got into my accident."



"This doesn't make sense Brian. Do you not want to be with me anymore? We always vowed to be with each other until we didn't want to anymore. Even though we married we promised that if one of us wanted out, the door would be open. Is that what this is about Brian? Do you want out?"



Brian couldn't answer. He had only been in this relationship, this marriage, this family life for a week. He didn't know what to say to Justin. Aside from that night at Woody's he had not thought about tricking, sexually he was satisfied with Justin. The thought of being a fulltime parent was still new, but he was okay with it so far. But was this what he wanted? Brian didn't know what to say.



Justin took his silence for an answer. "I have to get out of here." He grabbed his jacket and keys and headed for the door.



"Where are you going?"



"Don't pretend like you care."



"You're upset, you shouldn't be driving." Brian walked toward Justin, but Justin already had the door open and was sprinting down the stairs.



Justin got into his truck and started the engine; he had no idea where he was going as he drove down the street.



Justin had been gone for over an hour. Brian tried calling his cell several times. The first few times it just rang; after that it went straight to voicemail indicating Justin turned it off. Brian contemplated calling Lindsay or Michael, but he figured if Justin went there they would have called to let him know. Not knowing what else to do Brian left the loft to look for him. He drove to Woody's and Babylon to see if Justin might be there. He wasn't at either spot. Brian thought about trying some of the places he would go to but he felt his pain management techniques were not the same as Justin's. He didn't seem the type to fuck his pain away. 



Brian sat in his jeep thinking. Would he go to his mother's? A lot of good that would do you Kinney, you have no idea who or where his mother would be. Brian continued to drive around when he found himself on the street where Justin's gallery was located. He felt his shoulders relax when he saw Justin's truck parked across the street from it. Brian stopped the jeep right behind it and got out.



He could see a light in a small window on the upper level. He stood outside the entrance and tugged on the door, it was locked. He looked at the keys in his hand and he remembered from this morning there were keys on the ring he didn't recognize. He knew one was for Kinnetik; he took a chance to see if the other was for the gallery. He was right. Brian opened the door and looked around for the stairwell that led to the upstairs. 



He saw Justin sitting in a char staring at a painting on the opposite wall. Brian walked into the small office so he could see what Justin was looking at. It was a painting of Brian sitting in the middle of their living room with only a pair of jeans on. He was putting together a dollhouse while Gus and Marnie dressed in pajamas sat around playing with toys. The painting was obviously capturing a Christmas morning memory.



"That was last Christmas. I took the photo and I loved it so much I wanted to capture it on canvas. It took you almost two hours to put that together. You refused to let me call Melanie to do it." Justin sighed "But you don't remember that."



"No." Brian looked at Justin; his eyes were puffy and red. His face was still wet from the tears."



"We've been through so much Brian; we've been through so much."



"Never a dull moment I bet." 



Justin stood to leave. "I'm going to stay at Daphne's tonight" Justin started walking down the stairs with Brian right behind him.



"Can you wait a minute! Justin we need to talk about this."



"Not right now Brian."



"Yes now. Fuck Justin I came after you. I searched for you. I never go after anyone."



"So is that supposed to make me feel better?" Justin said as he opened the gallery door to leave



"It should at least give me a moment of your time."



Justin was halfway across the street when he spun a round to face Brian. "My heart is broken, don't you understand that. My heart is broken; I need time to understand why all of a sudden I mean nothing to you. My happiness, my family, it's gone now."



"It doesn't have to be..." Brian sentence was cut off at the sound of peeling tires coming around the corner.



Justin turned to see the car coming directly at him and he froze. He heard Brian screaming his name a second before he was pushed to the ground and saw Brian had been tossed in the air by the force of the car.



Brian lay on the ground. He was cold but no pain. He could hear people bustling around him and someone saying his name. He knew it had to be Justin, he felt relief knowing Justin was okay. He felt his body relaxing and the voices become faint. 



Brian's eyes suddenly came open; he was in a dimly lit room. He couldn't tell if it was a hospital room or not. He heard movement as if someone was with him. "Justin?"



"No not Justin."



Brian turned his head and focused in on the face of the man standing over him. "Marvin Tate? What are doing here?"



"Things didn't work out did they?"



"What are you talking about?"



"I thought a family was what you needed. Was I wrong Brian; were you not happy?"



"I didn't hate it...I don't know."



"I'm almost never wrong about these things."



"Wait a minute! You did this to me...how?"



"No, Brian, you did this to you" Marvin turned and began walking away.



"Wait, how do I get my life back? I want my life back."



Marvin stopped to face Brian again. "Things will be as they should be." He said before he disappeared from view.



Brian looked around the room, his head was pounding he could barely focus any longer. He closed his eyes tight trying to control the pain. He started to hear his name being called; it sounded far away at first and became closer until it was like the person was yelling in his ear.



"Stop yelling I hear you." He croaked out 



"You're awake. Thank gawd." 



Brian opened his eyes and was staring into Michael's face. He could see the tiny hospital room was jammed packed with his *family* and friends. He went from face to face and saw everyone except one particular blond. He let out a sigh and tried to shake the sadness that was overcoming him. So this was as it should be, he thought to himself.



He turned to Debbie who was now leaning over him after she pushed Michael out of the way. "How are you baby?"



"Thirsty."



Debbie helped him sip water from the glass next to his bed.



"How long was I out?" 



"A couple of days. You had us all worried kiddo."



"Geezez 2 days. What's the damage?"



"Amazingly you have no broken bones, just a few scrapes and a nasty bump on your forehead. Dr. Morgan should be here any minute."



Brian interest perked at the mention of the doctor's name. "Dr. Morgan?"



"That's me." The doctor answered as he entered the room "Glad to see you're awake. You have a lot of people here worried about you." Dr. Morgan walked over to Brian's bedside and flipped open his chart. "Sorry people I'm going to have ask you all to leave while I exam the patient. You can come back in a little while."



One by one Brian's family came to his bedside to say goodbye. Some who had been at the hospital for hours on end could now leave happy and relieved. Each one kissed him and let him know they would be back later. He noticed that Mel wasn't there with Lindsay, but it didn't surprise him that she probably stayed home with Gus. Brian took all of the goodbyes in stride. Ted stopped at the door and looked at Brian before he left. 



"Glad you're going to be alright boss."



Brian mouthed the word boss to himself. He looked at Dr. Morgan who was now checking his vitals. "What's today's date?"



Dr. Morgan told him.



"Then I was out for over a week."



"No just a couple of days."



"I was in my car accident a week ago."



"Yes, I know I treated you, but you were hit by a car Friday evening."



"Justin" Brian said the name, quietly afraid of what Dr. Morgan would tell him.



"Sound asleep, drugged induced, but sound asleep. He would not sleep or eat since Friday."



"Where is he?"



"Right over there." Dr. Morgan gestured with his head to the far corner of the room as he checked Brian's eyes. As soon as he was done Brian looked over and saw the recliner he hadn't noticed before, mostly because there had been so many people in the room.



Justin was reclined back with a blanket covering him. He looked like a little boy as he slept.



"He refused to leave to get some rest so that was the next best thing. I'll have the nurse come in with something for the pain."



"Thanks." Brian said absentmindedly as he watched Justin as he slept. So Marvin is this where I'm supposed to be. Damn am I going crazy? Brian groaned and squeezed his eyes shut again as his head began pounding even worse. He pressed his hands to his eyes as images began flashing through his mind. He saw himself staring at a fresh young Justin as he stood under a lamppost. Images of him and Justin fucking and making love flickered through his mind. He felt anguish as he knelt next to Justin's motionless body lying on the cold cement. He felt his heart breaking as Justin walked out on him, once into the arms of another man, but every time because Brian pushed him away. He felt the emotion pouring out of him when he found him in the wreckage of what used to be Babylon. He saw them standing on a balcony over looking the beach and he knew that this was their honeymoon. He saw those familiar blues eyes staring up at him shiny bright with love.



Brian felt the ache easing in his head and he slowly opened his eyes to see the nurse standing over him looking concerned. "Mr. Kinney are you okay?"



"Never better" Brian said as he looked up at the nurse



"It's great to finally see your eyes, and your husband is right, they do look golden."



"Is that what he said?"



"Yeah, he's going to be upset that no one woke him to tell him you were finally awake."



The nurse handed Brian something for his headache and helped him drink a sip of water."



"These won't make me drowsy will they?"



"Nope they are basically Tylenol." The nurse looked over at the CD player. "Justin kept the music playing for you, he said it was your favorite CD, do you want it on?"



"Sure just keep it low, I don't want to wake him."



Brian lay back against the pillow as he heard the familiar song drifting from the CD player. He kept his gaze on the figure sleeping in the recliner chair and waited for him to awaken. They had so much to talk about.

*~*~*~*~*

Epilogue



"Brian where are taking me?"



"You'll see"



"We've been driving for ever."



"Can you stop whining for a moment?"



"I'm not whining, I'm hungry and besides you should be taking it easy, you've only been out of the hospital for a couple of days. It wasn't that long ago you were in a coma."



"I wasn't in a coma, I was sleeping."



Brian stopped the truck in front of the most gorgeous estate Justin had ever seen.



"What do you think?" 



"It's beautiful, but what are we doing here?"



"Let's go inside."



"Brian, who lives here?" Justin asked as he followed Brian to the front door and they walked in.



Brian watched as Justin took in the sight before him. The first room they entered was beautiful. Justin noticed the fire going in the fireplace and a small picnic lunch set up next to it. "Brian?"



"We live here, Merry Christmas Justin."



"What? How? When, and why didn't you tell me."



"Kinnetik had a great year. I already had this in the works, but I umm...I forgot."



"Yeah you forgot a lot of things."



"I thought we talked about all this in the hospital, I notice it still bothers you."



Justin turned away from Brian, he didn't want to spoil the moment, but yes it did bother him that Brian wiped out their life from his memory.



Brian grabbed Justin by the hand and pulled him into his arms. "I swear to you I will never forget you or our life together ever again."



"You can't promise me that, you still can't explain what happened. And I can't lie Brian it bothers me that you did. That I was wiped from you mind."



"Maybe a part of me wanted to see what my life was like if I never met you." Brian saw the hurt look creeping into Justin eyes as he tried to pull away. "Justin no look at me. But that's not a life I want now. I have those memories and I was not happy, I thought I was, but when you have a side by side comparison the evidence is hard to dispute. I can't explain what happened to me or what was going on in my head, but I know that you, the kids...this life, it makes me happy. When I looked over and saw you sleeping in that recliner chair in my hospital room, I knew this is where I was supposed to be. This is the life I was meant to have." Brian saw that familiar look of love on Justin's face and he continued. "And even if I never remembered anything about this life, I would have taken the past couple of weeks over the last 7 years any day."



"Brian, I love you so much. And I promise not to dwell on this any more, I'm just happy you do have your memories of us. I fought a hard battle to get us to where we are now and I want you to remember it."



"Yes, I know. You never gave up." 



Justin hugged Brian closed to him. "Tell me"



"Don't you want to see the rest of the house first?"



"Later." Justin took Brian by the hand and led him to the makeshift picnic area. He took off his jacket and as he made himself comfortable. Brian followed suit and settled down next to Justin.



"Now, tell me and don't leave anything out." Justin instructed.



"I won't." Brian said and he began to tell Justin the story of when he knew it was love.